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Discussing misuse of my partnerspartner's pronouns with their best friend?

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For nearly half a year now my partner, "Jane", has taken to using non-binary gender pronouns (they/them) and has asked those around them to respect this decision.

The problem is that their closest friend, "Alice", is having a hard time understanding this concept. Alice is aware, and acknowledges, that she doesn't use they/them pronouns, and has even made a comment to Jane before along the lines of:

"Aww... Jess uses your pronouns... I'm such an a**hole, I'm so bad at it."

The thing is, Alice doesn't seem to try. I've never once heard her try to use they/them.

Yesterday, Jane asked both Alice and I to start calling them by a new name, as part of a test to see if a more gender-neutral name feels right to them. Alice immediately went back to using their birth name after being told this information.

I truly believe Alice is not doing this to be malicious, but simply hasn't been exposed to this type of situation before (which is why Jane is so lenient with her and often attempts to shrug it off). I'd like to help Alice work through whatever is holding her back from changing this undesired behavior, since she is otherwise very supportive of Jane.

How can I tactfully discuss with Alice about why she hasn't started using Jane's preferred pronouns? I'm not that close to Alice and want to make sure I don't come off as condescending towards her lack of effort, since I feel like that could ultimately push Alice even farther from changing her behavior (she will even more desperately cling to what she already knows). Additionally, I want to avoid confronting Alice in a way that could make her focus more on apologizing to Jane than changing her behavior going forward. No apologies are necessary.

For nearly half a year now my partner, "Jane", has taken to using non-binary gender pronouns (they/them) and has asked those around them to respect this decision.

The problem is that their closest friend, "Alice", is having a hard time understanding this concept. Alice is aware, and acknowledges, that she doesn't use they/them pronouns, and has even made a comment to Jane before along the lines of:

"Aww... Jess uses your pronouns... I'm such an a**hole, I'm so bad at it."

The thing is, Alice doesn't seem to try. I've never once heard her try to use they/them.

Yesterday, Jane asked both Alice and I to start calling them by a new name, as part of a test to see if a more gender-neutral name feels right to them. Alice immediately went back to using their birth name after being told this information.

I truly believe Alice is not doing this to be malicious, but simply hasn't been exposed to this type of situation before (which is why Jane is so lenient with her and often attempts to shrug it off). I'd like to help Alice work through whatever is holding her back from changing this undesired behavior, since she is otherwise very supportive of Jane.

How can I tactfully discuss with Alice about why she hasn't started using Jane's preferred pronouns? I'm not that close to Alice and want to make sure I don't come off as condescending towards her lack of effort, since I feel like that could ultimately push Alice even farther from changing her behavior (she will even more desperately cling to what she already knows).

For nearly half a year now my partner, "Jane", has taken to using non-binary gender pronouns (they/them) and has asked those around them to respect this decision.

The problem is that their closest friend, "Alice", is having a hard time understanding this concept. Alice is aware, and acknowledges, that she doesn't use they/them pronouns, and has even made a comment to Jane before along the lines of:

"Aww... Jess uses your pronouns... I'm such an a**hole, I'm so bad at it."

The thing is, Alice doesn't seem to try. I've never once heard her try to use they/them.

Yesterday, Jane asked both Alice and I to start calling them by a new name, as part of a test to see if a more gender-neutral name feels right to them. Alice immediately went back to using their birth name after being told this information.

I truly believe Alice is not doing this to be malicious, but simply hasn't been exposed to this type of situation before (which is why Jane is so lenient with her and often attempts to shrug it off). I'd like to help Alice work through whatever is holding her back from changing this undesired behavior, since she is otherwise very supportive of Jane.

How can I tactfully discuss with Alice about why she hasn't started using Jane's preferred pronouns? I'm not that close to Alice and want to make sure I don't come off as condescending towards her lack of effort, since I feel like that could ultimately push Alice even farther from changing her behavior (she will even more desperately cling to what she already knows). Additionally, I want to avoid confronting Alice in a way that could make her focus more on apologizing to Jane than changing her behavior going forward. No apologies are necessary.

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Discussing misuse of my partners pronouns with their best friend?

For nearly half a year now my partner, "Jane", has taken to using non-binary gender pronouns (they/them) and has asked those around them to respect this decision.

The problem is that their closest friend, "Alice", is having a hard time understanding this concept. Alice is aware, and acknowledges, that she doesn't use they/them pronouns, and has even made a comment to Jane before along the lines of:

"Aww... Jess uses your pronouns... I'm such an a**hole, I'm so bad at it."

The thing is, Alice doesn't seem to try. I've never once heard her try to use they/them.

Yesterday, Jane asked both Alice and I to start calling them by a new name, as part of a test to see if a more gender-neutral name feels right to them. Alice immediately went back to using their birth name after being told this information.

I truly believe Alice is not doing this to be malicious, but simply hasn't been exposed to this type of situation before (which is why Jane is so lenient with her and often attempts to shrug it off). I'd like to help Alice work through whatever is holding her back from changing this undesired behavior, since she is otherwise very supportive of Jane.

How can I tactfully discuss with Alice about why she hasn't started using Jane's preferred pronouns? I'm not that close to Alice and want to make sure I don't come off as condescending towards her lack of effort, since I feel like that could ultimately push Alice even farther from changing her behavior (she will even more desperately cling to what she already knows).