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Put the conditional phrasing inside the bolded part. "the fact that you lied" in bold draws the eye and makes it look like you're claiming the OP had already done that.
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edit approved Aug 2, 2018 at 23:28
Peter Cordes
edit approved Aug 2, 2018 at 23:28
Peter Cordes
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You're going to have to just say it. There is nothing you should do to ease him into it. Hiding the fact that you are dating or something else like that would possibly hurt Tom even more than if you were honest, if he found out.

Tell him exactly what you said in your question. "What you are saying is out of line and that you cannot control the decisions I make." If he gets angry about it and won't talk to you, then that's his problem.

Speaking as someone who has once before been in Tom's place (albeit not as angry/emotional about the situation), if you were being ambiguous and didn't tell me the truth, I would have been more upset. I could get over the fact that you left for someone else, but not the fact thatif you lied about it.

You're going to have to just say it. There is nothing you should do to ease him into it. Hiding the fact that you are dating or something else like that would possibly hurt Tom even more than if you were honest, if he found out.

Tell him exactly what you said in your question. "What you are saying is out of line and that you cannot control the decisions I make." If he gets angry about it and won't talk to you, then that's his problem.

Speaking as someone who has once before been in Tom's place (albeit not as angry/emotional about the situation), if you were being ambiguous and didn't tell me the truth, I would have been more upset. I could get over the fact that you left for someone else, but not the fact that you lied.

You're going to have to just say it. There is nothing you should do to ease him into it. Hiding the fact that you are dating or something else like that would possibly hurt Tom even more than if you were honest, if he found out.

Tell him exactly what you said in your question. "What you are saying is out of line and that you cannot control the decisions I make." If he gets angry about it and won't talk to you, then that's his problem.

Speaking as someone who has once before been in Tom's place (albeit not as angry/emotional about the situation), if you were being ambiguous and didn't tell me the truth, I would have been more upset. I could get over the fact that you left for someone else, but not if you lied about it.

Clarification as per comments.
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TheRealLester
TheRealLester
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You're going to have to just say it. There is nothing you should do to ease him into it. Hiding the fact that you are dating or something else like that would possibly hurt Tom even more than if you were honest, if he found out.

Tell him exactly what you said in your question. "What you are saying is out of line and that you cannot control the decisions I make." If he gets angry about it and won't talk to you, then that's his problem.

Speaking as someone who has once before been in Tom's place (albeit not as angry/emotional about the situation), if you were being ambiguous and didn't tell me the truth, I would have been more upset. I could get over the fact that you left for someone else, but not the fact that you lied.

You're going to have to just say it. There is nothing you should do to ease him into it. Hiding the fact that you are dating or something else like that would possibly hurt Tom even more than if you were honest, if he found out.

Tell him exactly what you said in your question. "What you are saying is out of line and that you cannot control the decisions I make." If he gets angry about it and won't talk to you, then that's his problem.

Speaking as someone who has once before been in Tom's place (albeit not as angry/emotional about the situation), I could get over the fact that you left for someone else, but not the fact that you lied.

You're going to have to just say it. There is nothing you should do to ease him into it. Hiding the fact that you are dating or something else like that would possibly hurt Tom even more than if you were honest, if he found out.

Tell him exactly what you said in your question. "What you are saying is out of line and that you cannot control the decisions I make." If he gets angry about it and won't talk to you, then that's his problem.

Speaking as someone who has once before been in Tom's place (albeit not as angry/emotional about the situation), if you were being ambiguous and didn't tell me the truth, I would have been more upset. I could get over the fact that you left for someone else, but not the fact that you lied.

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TheRealLester
TheRealLester
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You're going to have to just say it. There is nothing you should do to ease him into it. Hiding the fact that you are dating or something else like that would possibly hurt Tom even more than if you were honest, if he found out.

Tell him exactly what you said in your question. "What you are saying is out of line and that you cannot control the decisions I make." If he gets angry about it and won't talk to you, then that's his problem.

Speaking as someone who has once before been in Tom's place (albeit not as angry/emotional about the situation), I could get over the fact that you left for someone else, but not the fact that you lied.