I know exactly how OP feels. While I am technically a member of several marginalized groups, I have never felt this way and, like OP, I have never witnessed any sort of negative act against me or anyone else in my non-academic career.

I have however on many occasions, been told (lectured really) on how I should feel or I just don't notice any effect on me. Which has put me in the position of wanting to know exactly what they're talking about because, as noted above, I've never seen it.

TL/DR - this rarely ends well.

The lecturer usually get even more offended that I'm challenging their worldview and them lumps me into the 'part of the problem' category. This is OP fate if not properly handled.

I can recommend 3 possible approaches and two Interpersonal Skills.

Do nothing. While OP's academic curiosity may be very compelling, it's quite possible the person is just seeking empathy for their situation leveraging a current opinion thread.

The first Interpersonal Skill here would be Scientific Inquiry. This works because OP is also an academic. This is more about tone and demeanor than anything else. Accept the premise and in the most detached, academic way OP can muster, just ask

How does that manifest itself? I'd like to know some additional ways to identify it in my Department.

The second Interpersonal Skill would be Sympathy. OP may not be able to use this one as it's something that's difficult to lie about, so don't. OP can use a personal attribute, even if it's less impactful, to solicit further conversation. This is risky because of the person is an empathy seeker, they're not going to be interested in OP's struggles unless they somehow greater then theirs.

I can only begin to understand how you feel, even I get dismissed because of my accent.

In any path OP chooses, they need to be very sensitive to a negative reaction by the other and immediately switch to empathy.

Oh, that's terrible. We all need to do better.

This presumes OP doesn't want, in any way, to escalate from casual to confrontational.

I know exactly how OP feels. While I am technically a member of several marginalized groups, I have never felt this way and, like OP, I have never witnessed any sort of negative act against me or anyone else in my non-academic career.

I have however on many occasions, been told (lectured really) on how I should feel or I just don't notice any effect on me. Which has put me in the position of wanting to know exactly what they're talking about because, as noted above, I've never seen it.

TL/DR - this rarely ends well.

The lecturer usually get even more offended that I'm challenging their worldview and them lumps me into the 'part of the problem' category. This is OP fate if not properly handled.

I can recommend 3 possible approaches and two Interpersonal Skills.

Do nothing. While OP's academic curiosity may be very compelling, it's quite possible the person is just seeking empathy for their situation leveraging a current opinion thread.

The first Interpersonal Skill here would be Scientific/Academic Inquiry. This works because OP is also an academic. This is more about tone and demeanor than anything else. Accept the premise and in the most detached, academic way OP can muster, just ask

How does that manifest itself? I'd like to know some additional ways to identify it in my Department.

The second Interpersonal Skill would be Sympathy. OP may not be able to use this one as it's something that's difficult to lie about, so don't. OP can use a personal attribute, even if it's less impactful, to solicit further conversation. This is risky because if the person is merely an empathy seeker, they're not going to be interested in OP's struggles unless they're somehow greater then theirs.

I can only begin to understand how you feel, even I get dismissed because of my accent.

In any path OP chooses, they need to be very sensitive to a negative reaction by the other and immediately switch to empathy.

Oh, that's terrible. We all need to do better.

This presumes OP doesn't want, in any way, to escalate from casual to confrontational.

I know exactly how OP feels. While I am technically a member of several marginalized groups, I have never felt this way and, like OP, I have never witnessed any sort of negative act against me or anyone else in my non-academic career.

I have however on many occasions, been told (lectured really) on how I should feel or I just don't notice any effect on me. Which has put me in the position of wanting to know exactly what they're talking about because, as noted above, I've never seen it.

TL/DR - this rarely ends well.

The lecturer usually get even more offended that I'm challenging their worldview and them lumps me into the 'part of the problem' category. This is OP fate if not properly handled.

I can recommend 3 possible approaches and two Interpersonal Skills.

Do nothing. While OP's academic curiosity may be very compelling, it's quite possible the person is just seeking empathy for their situation leveraging a current opinion thread.

The first Interpersonal Skill here would be Scientific Inquiry. This is more about tone and demeanor than anything else. Accept the premise and in the most detached, academic way OP can muster, just ask

How does that manifest itself? I'd like to know some additional ways to identify it in my Department.

The second Interpersonal Skill would be Sympathy. OP may not be able to use this one as it's something that's difficult to lie about, so don't. OP can use a personal attribute, even if it's less impactful, to solicit further conversation. This is risky because of the person is an empathy seeker, they're not going to be interested in OP's struggles unless they somehow greater then theirs.

I can only begin to understand how you feel, even I get dismissed because of my accent.

In any path OP chooses, they need to be very sensitive to a negative reaction by the other and immediately switch to empathy.

Oh, that's terrible. We all need to do better.

This presumes OP doesn't want, in any way, to escalate from casual to confrontational.

I know exactly how OP feels. While I am technically a member of several marginalized groups, I have never felt this way and, like OP, I have never witnessed any sort of negative act against me or anyone else in my non-academic career.

I have however on many occasions, been told (lectured really) on how I should feel or I just don't notice any effect on me. Which has put me in the position of wanting to know exactly what they're talking about because, as noted above, I've never seen it.

TL/DR - this rarely ends well.

The lecturer usually get even more offended that I'm challenging their worldview and them lumps me into the 'part of the problem' category. This is OP fate if not properly handled.

I can recommend 3 possible approaches and two Interpersonal Skills.

Do nothing. While OP's academic curiosity may be very compelling, it's quite possible the person is just seeking empathy for their situation leveraging a current opinion thread.

The first Interpersonal Skill here would be Scientific Inquiry. This works because OP is also an academic. This is more about tone and demeanor than anything else. Accept the premise and in the most detached, academic way OP can muster, just ask

How does that manifest itself? I'd like to know some additional ways to identify it in my Department.

The second Interpersonal Skill would be Sympathy. OP may not be able to use this one as it's something that's difficult to lie about, so don't. OP can use a personal attribute, even if it's less impactful, to solicit further conversation. This is risky because of the person is an empathy seeker, they're not going to be interested in OP's struggles unless they somehow greater then theirs.

I can only begin to understand how you feel, even I get dismissed because of my accent.

In any path OP chooses, they need to be very sensitive to a negative reaction by the other and immediately switch to empathy.

Oh, that's terrible. We all need to do better.

This presumes OP doesn't want, in any way, to escalate from casual to confrontational.