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One thing I have learned is that it is generally better to assume ignorance or stupidity over malevolence.

I think there are two things I haven't seen in the other answers yet that I would try very first:

  1. Empathize. Sit down and ask your boyfriend something along the lines of

    Empathize. Sit down and ask your boyfriend something along the lines of

    "Seeing those pictures really bothers me, and despite having said a couple of times you would remove them, you haven't. Are there specific reasons that you haven't taken them down?"

    Then give him space to open up about what he may be feeling. Once he's had a chance to share what he may be feeling or whatever else is going on for him that has kept from removing the pictures, you'll probably have a better sense of what the path forward looks like.

  2. Use "I feel" statements. We've recently been trying to help our daughter learn to communicate in a way that is clear and honest but also so others aren't automatically defensive. A common approach to accomplishing these goals is to concentrate your statements on how you feel rather than how you perceive the other person's motives or actions.

    Contrast the recommended dialog from Mr. Positive:

    "It bothers me to see the pictures of your ex girlfriend, and you don't seem to care about my feelings in this regard"

    To this statement:

    "It bothers me to see pictures of your ex-girlfriend. I feel like by not taking them down as we've discussed, that you may not fully understand how important this is to me."

"Seeing those pictures really bothers me, and despite having said a couple of times you would remove them, you haven't. Are there specific reasons that you haven't taken them down?"

Then give him space to open up about what he may be feeling. Once he's had a chance to share what he may be feeling or whatever else is going on for him that has kept from removing the pictures, you'll probably have a better sense of what the path forward looks like.

  1. Use "I feel" statements. We've recently been trying to help our daughter learn to communicate in a way that is clear and honest but also so others aren't automatically defensive. A common approach to accomplishing these goals is to concentrate your statements on how you feel rather than how you perceive the other persons motives or actions.

Contrast the recommended dialog from Mr. Positive:

"It bothers me to see the pictures of your ex girlfriend, and you don't seem to care about my feelings in this regard"

To this statement:

"It bothers me to see pictures of your ex-girlfriend. I feel like by not taking them down as we've discussed, that you may not fully understand how important this is to me."

I have often been guilty of not doing small honey-dos because I was busy, forgot etc etc. It's not that I don't love my wife or want to please her I just sometimes fail to remember to do things she's asked. Other times, I have felt uncomfortable with a request and I have agreed because I didn't know how to tell my wife how I really felt. By focusing on your feelings and then asking him his feelings about removing the pictures, you create a safe space for him to open up.

One thing I have learned is that it is generally better to assume ignorance or stupidity over malevolence.

I think there are two things I haven't seen in the other answers yet that I would try very first:

  1. Empathize. Sit down and ask your boyfriend something along the lines of

"Seeing those pictures really bothers me, and despite having said a couple of times you would remove them, you haven't. Are there specific reasons that you haven't taken them down?"

Then give him space to open up about what he may be feeling. Once he's had a chance to share what he may be feeling or whatever else is going on for him that has kept from removing the pictures, you'll probably have a better sense of what the path forward looks like.

  1. Use "I feel" statements. We've recently been trying to help our daughter learn to communicate in a way that is clear and honest but also so others aren't automatically defensive. A common approach to accomplishing these goals is to concentrate your statements on how you feel rather than how you perceive the other persons motives or actions.

Contrast the recommended dialog from Mr. Positive:

"It bothers me to see the pictures of your ex girlfriend, and you don't seem to care about my feelings in this regard"

To this statement:

"It bothers me to see pictures of your ex-girlfriend. I feel like by not taking them down as we've discussed, that you may not fully understand how important this is to me."

I have often been guilty of not doing small honey-dos because I was busy, forgot etc etc. It's not that I don't love my wife or want to please her I just sometimes fail to remember to do things she's asked. Other times, I have felt uncomfortable with a request and I have agreed because I didn't know how to tell my wife how I really felt. By focusing on your feelings and then asking him his feelings about removing the pictures, you create a safe space for him to open up.

One thing I have learned is that it is generally better to assume ignorance or stupidity over malevolence.

I think there are two things I haven't seen in the other answers yet that I would try first:

  1. Empathize. Sit down and ask your boyfriend something along the lines of

    "Seeing those pictures really bothers me, and despite having said a couple of times you would remove them, you haven't. Are there specific reasons that you haven't taken them down?"

    Then give him space to open up about what he may be feeling. Once he's had a chance to share what he may be feeling or whatever else is going on for him that has kept from removing the pictures, you'll probably have a better sense of what the path forward looks like.

  2. Use "I feel" statements. We've recently been trying to help our daughter learn to communicate in a way that is clear and honest but also so others aren't automatically defensive. A common approach to accomplishing these goals is to concentrate your statements on how you feel rather than how you perceive the other person's motives or actions.

    Contrast the recommended dialog from Mr. Positive:

    "It bothers me to see the pictures of your ex girlfriend, and you don't seem to care about my feelings in this regard"

    To this statement:

    "It bothers me to see pictures of your ex-girlfriend. I feel like by not taking them down as we've discussed, that you may not fully understand how important this is to me."

I have often been guilty of not doing small honey-dos because I was busy, forgot etc etc. It's not that I don't love my wife or want to please her I just sometimes fail to remember to do things she's asked. Other times, I have felt uncomfortable with a request and I have agreed because I didn't know how to tell my wife how I really felt. By focusing on your feelings and then asking him his feelings about removing the pictures, you create a safe space for him to open up.

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One thing I have learned is that it is generally better to assume ignorance or stupidity over malevolence.

I think there are two things I haven't seen in the other answers yet that I would try very first:

  1. Empathize. Sit down and ask your boyfriend something along the lines of

"Seeing those pictures really bothers me, and despite having said a couple of times you would remove them, you haven't. Are there specific reasons that you haven't taken them down?"

Then give him space to open up about what he may be feeling. Once he's had a chance to share what he may be feeling or whatever else is going on for him that has kept from removing the pictures, you'll probably have a better sense of what the path forward looks like.

  1. Use "I feel" statements. We've recently been trying to help our daughter learn to communicate in a way that is clear and honest but also so others aren't automatically defensive. A common approach to accomplishing these goals is to concentrate your statements on how you feel rather than how you perceive the other persons motives or actions.

Contrast the recommended dialog from Mr. Positive:

"It bothers me to see the pictures of your ex girlfriend, and you don't seem to care about my feelings in this regard"

To this statement:

"It bothers me to see pictures of your ex-girlfriend. I feel like by not taking them down as we've discussed, that you may not fully understand how important this is to me."

I have often been guilty of not doing small honey-dos because I was busy, forgot etc etc. It's not that I don't love my wife or want to please her I just sometimes fail to remember to do things she's asked. Other times, I have felt uncomfortable with a request and I have agreed because I didn't know how to tell my wife how I really felt. By focusing on your feelings and then asking him his feelings about removing the pictures, you create a safe space for him to open up.