Well I've been in similar situation, trying to improve in a game where people were better players but also downright elitist. The game was poker so money was involved making things go reallyeven worse on that end - somewhere good players considering their words were actually worth money.
Generally, some of the players a certain level will have the overall feeling that to get their level is something that came with a certain price: hours played, difficult defeats, necessary introspection. To that, you can add to the equation that for some players and getting closer to high level it's not exactly easy to put in words their reasoning other than "the maths says it / stockfish would do that" or "my experience says it" or "it felt like a natural move". And the higher level, the tinier the base, meaning they may not want to teach a potential opponent, which makes the mindset somewhat considered normal there (it is in poker at least), and sometimes a little contagious to people lower elo.
When I confronted people with these behaviors they just explained me at length the sacrifices they made to get there. I came to the difficult conclusion that I did not want to rely on these persons for advice ever, and focused on improving on my own, and eventually quit the game. I imagine though, things would have been different if I paid for the time I was using, something I wasn't ready to do.
In my opinion, for a large part of the situation, it's about accepting people are not always disposed to help, because of the mentioned factors, and some people could feel allowed to make rude remarks when prompted to. Either you accept the risk of remarks when asking, or you make way around people not willing to help.
You could of course when someone makes a comment you consider rude, try to refocus on what you want initially and make sure it's understood the comment is not welcomed.
Jake, this isn't helping me
Don't answer if you don't want to, no need for the facepalms
But that probably won't be a long term fix.