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I was very young when I mtmet my husband. A few dates into it, I did a weird thing that I didn't seem coming and told him every rotten part of my life. I think in hindsight, I already could see how much I really liked him and I think it was my way of finding out if he could "handle" my truth. I've never done anything like that again (25 years later) and in fact, I know there are things I told him that night I have barely mentioned again.

It's really likely too early to say "what she's like". This may have been out of character for her to share so many heavy things like this (like it was for me) or it might be where she is in her life right now (lots of people go through rough patches at some point) or she may be prone to what I call "being an Eeyore" (from Adventures of Pooh).

I think it sounds like you handled it well. Sometimes it is reasonable, appropriate and effective to cheer someone. Sometimes that is really insensitive if what they need is to get it out. I don't know the tone here or what she said so I have no idea how appropriate it is to even try to redirect the conversation.

What you have to remember too is that you have to give yourself grace when a person does this at a time you don't expect. We are all human and it's hard to know what we can do that makes the other person feel any better.

If she shared all that and felt like it wasn't badly taken, she might feel like the date was nice, in that she was able to safely tell you all her junk and not feel like she was made to feel bad for it. I felt a little embarrassed when I did it, but when he called me again, I felt amazing. I got all my junk cleared and he still liked me. That said, I didn't have any ongoing issues. It sounds like perhaps she is still in a difficult time. I just had normal life woes (school, work, bills, etc).

if instead, this date made you think "oh"Oh she is a mess" and start trying to figure out how to exit, then I might say that. I might just say that I can see she isn't up for a fun night out and has some things she needs to come to peace with and perhaps it would better if we called it early and rescheduled when she felt more up to it.

I was very young when I mt my husband. A few dates into it, I did a weird thing that I didn't seem coming and told him every rotten part of my life. I think in hindsight, I already could see how much I really liked him and I think it was my way of finding out if he could "handle" my truth. I've never done anything like that again (25 years later) and in fact I know there are things I told him that night I have barely mentioned again.

It's really likely too early to say "what she's like". This may have been out of character for her to share so many heavy things like this (like it was for me) or it might be where she is in her life right now (lots of people go through rough patches at some point) or she may be prone to what I call "being an Eeyore" (from Adventures of Pooh).

I think it sounds like you handled it well. Sometimes it is reasonable, appropriate and effective to cheer someone. Sometimes that is really insensitive if what they need is to get it out. I don't know the tone here or what she said so I have no idea how appropriate it is to even try to redirect the conversation.

What you have to remember too is that you have to give yourself grace when a person does this at a time you don't expect. We are all human and it's hard to know what we can do that makes the other person feel any better.

If she shared all that and felt like it wasn't badly taken, she might feel like the date was nice, in that she was able to safely tell you all her junk and not feel like she was made to feel bad for it. I felt a little embarrassed when I did it, but when he called me again, I felt amazing. I got all my junk cleared and he still liked me. That said, I didn't have any ongoing issues. It sounds like perhaps she is still in a difficult time. I just had normal life woes (school, work, bills, etc).

if instead this date made you think "oh she is a mess" and start trying to figure out how to exit, then I might say that. I might just say that I can see she isn't up for a fun night out and has some things she needs to come to peace with and perhaps it would better if we called it early and rescheduled when she felt more up to it.

I was very young when I met my husband. A few dates into it, I did a weird thing that I didn't seem coming and told him every rotten part of my life. I think in hindsight, I already could see how much I really liked him and I think it was my way of finding out if he could "handle" my truth. I've never done anything like that again (25 years later) and in fact, I know there are things I told him that night I have barely mentioned again.

It's really likely too early to say "what she's like". This may have been out of character for her to share so many heavy things like this (like it was for me) or it might be where she is in her life right now (lots of people go through rough patches at some point) or she may be prone to what I call "being an Eeyore" (from Adventures of Pooh).

I think it sounds like you handled it well. Sometimes it is reasonable, appropriate and effective to cheer someone. Sometimes that is really insensitive if what they need is to get it out. I don't know the tone here or what she said so I have no idea how appropriate it is to even try to redirect the conversation.

What you have to remember too is that you have to give yourself grace when a person does this at a time you don't expect. We are all human and it's hard to know what we can do that makes the other person feel any better.

If she shared all that and felt like it wasn't badly taken, she might feel like the date was nice, in that she was able to safely tell you all her junk and not feel like she was made to feel bad for it. I felt a little embarrassed when I did it, but when he called me again, I felt amazing. I got all my junk cleared and he still liked me. That said, I didn't have any ongoing issues. It sounds like perhaps she is still in a difficult time. I just had normal life woes (school, work, bills, etc).

if instead, this date made you think "Oh she is a mess" and start trying to figure out how to exit, then I might say that. I might just say that I can see she isn't up for a fun night out and has some things she needs to come to peace with and perhaps it would better if we called it early and rescheduled when she felt more up to it.

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I was very young when I mt my husband. A few dates into it, I did a weird thing that I didn't seem coming and told him every rotten part of my life. I think in hindsight, I already could see how much I really liked him and I think it was my way of finding out if he could "handle" my truth. I've never done anything like that again (25 years later) and in fact I know there are things I told him that night I have barely mentioned again.

It's really likely too early to say "what she's like". This may have been out of character for her to share so many heavy things like this (like it was for me) or it might be where she is in her life right now (lots of people go through rough patches at some point) or she may be prone to what I call "being an Eeyore" (from Adventures of Pooh).

I think it sounds like you handled it well. Sometimes it is reasonable, appropriate and effective to cheer someone. Sometimes that is really insensitive if what they need is to get it out. I don't know the tone here or what she said so I have no idea how appropriate it is to even try to redirect the conversation.

What you have to remember too is that you have to give yourself grace when a person does this at a time you don't expect. We are all human and it's hard to know what we can do that makes the other person feel any better.

If she shared all that and felt like it wasn't badly taken, she might feel like the date was nice, in that she was able to safely tell you all her junk and not feel like she was made to feel bad for it. I felt a little embarrassed when I did it, but when he called me again, I felt amazing. I got all my junk cleared and he still liked me. That said, I didn't have any ongoing issues. It sounds like perhaps she is still in a difficult time. I just had normal life woes (school, work, bills, etc).

if instead this date made you think "oh she is a mess" and start trying to figure out how to exit, then I might say that. I might just say that I can see she isn't up for a fun night out and has some things she needs to come to peace with and perhaps it would better if we called it early and rescheduled when she felt more up to it.