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You can't have your cake and eat it too, dear!

(You could tell your girlfriend that!)

I'm teasing a little but this is what your girlfriend reminded me of. She wants to be able to have control over who you can andor can't text, without allowing you to have the same control over who she can or can't text.

If you ask me, this is a bad rule that is going to be broken. Honestly, this is an effort to exert control on each other. Not a good start, not a good sign, unless you are both happy with that on principle.

In general, setting rules when there is no need, to begin with, creates more problems than it solves. And usually rules are meant to be broken. One of you will, sooner or later. Having a rule like that won't make you trust each other more or protect you from other people trying to interfere in your relationship or from yourselves (make you less likely to cheat).

Trust takes time and it's something that both people need to work on and help build. I don't know how many long term relationships you both had-not many I would assume because of your age-but this problem might just be a problem of different levels of maturity and commitment. Are you happy with her? Is she happy with you? Is feeling safe in a relationship important to you both? How would you like to achieve that (within reason)?

If you don't feel comfortable with your partner's behavior-any behavior-of course you should talk about it. I'm not saying you should accept something that doesn't make you feel good inside. But always remember, who has the actual problem, you or your girlfriend? (I'm talking about projections).

Also, being attractive doesn't mean you are willing to let some random woman seduce you and/or "steal" you from your girlfriend. While it might be true that some women might approach you with that in mind, what happens next is up to you, right? You are in control, not them.

She sounds a little insecure. If you care about her and your relationship, you could try to find out what made her insecure (she might have been cheated on, or she might have been lied to or she may have low self-esteem), but this will take a lot of honesty and opening up on her part. Is she willing to make herself vulnerable and expose these insecurities to you? What about you?

And please, may I suggest something? Reconsider that rule. Do you really need it? If you do, then again, this will only take care of things on the surface and for a little while, while masking/covering other issues in your relationship. Think about it.

You can't have your cake and eat it too, dear!

(You could tell your girlfriend that!)

I'm teasing a little but this is what your girlfriend reminded me of. She wants to be able to have control over who you can and can't text, without allowing you to have the same control over who she can or can't text.

If you ask me, this is a bad rule that is going to be broken. Honestly, this is an effort to exert control on each other. Not a good start, not a good sign, unless you are both happy with that on principle.

In general, setting rules when there is no need, to begin with, creates more problems than it solves. And usually rules are meant to be broken. One of you will, sooner or later. Having a rule like that won't make you trust each other more or protect you from other people trying to interfere in your relationship or from yourselves (make you less likely to cheat).

Trust takes time and it's something that both people need to work on and help build. I don't know how many long term relationships you both had-not many I would assume because of your age-but this problem might just be a problem of different levels of maturity and commitment. Are you happy with her? Is she happy with you? Is feeling safe in a relationship important to you both? How would you like to achieve that (within reason)?

If you don't feel comfortable with your partner's behavior-any behavior-of course you should talk about it. I'm not saying you should accept something that doesn't make you feel good inside. But always remember, who has the actual problem, you or your girlfriend? (I'm talking about projections).

Also, being attractive doesn't mean you are willing to let some random woman seduce you and/or "steal" you from your girlfriend. While it might be true that some women might approach you with that in mind, what happens next is up to you, right? You are in control, not them.

She sounds a little insecure. If you care about her and your relationship, you could try to find out what made her insecure (she might have been cheated on, or she might have been lied to or she may have low self-esteem), but this will take a lot of honesty and opening up on her part. Is she willing to make herself vulnerable and expose these insecurities to you? What about you?

And please, may I suggest something? Reconsider that rule. Do you really need it? If you do, then again, this will only take care of things on the surface and for a little while, while masking/covering other issues in your relationship. Think about it.

You can't have your cake and eat it too, dear!

(You could tell your girlfriend that!)

I'm teasing a little but this is what your girlfriend reminded me of. She wants to be able to have control over who you can or can't text, without allowing you to have the same control over who she can or can't text.

If you ask me, this is a bad rule that is going to be broken. Honestly, this is an effort to exert control on each other. Not a good start, not a good sign, unless you are both happy with that on principle.

In general, setting rules when there is no need, to begin with, creates more problems than it solves. And usually rules are meant to be broken. One of you will, sooner or later. Having a rule like that won't make you trust each other more or protect you from other people trying to interfere in your relationship or from yourselves (make you less likely to cheat).

Trust takes time and it's something that both people need to work on and help build. I don't know how many long term relationships you both had-not many I would assume because of your age-but this problem might just be a problem of different levels of maturity and commitment. Are you happy with her? Is she happy with you? Is feeling safe in a relationship important to you both? How would you like to achieve that (within reason)?

If you don't feel comfortable with your partner's behavior-any behavior-of course you should talk about it. I'm not saying you should accept something that doesn't make you feel good inside. But always remember, who has the actual problem, you or your girlfriend? (I'm talking about projections).

Also, being attractive doesn't mean you are willing to let some random woman seduce you and/or "steal" you from your girlfriend. While it might be true that some women might approach you with that in mind, what happens next is up to you, right? You are in control, not them.

She sounds a little insecure. If you care about her and your relationship, you could try to find out what made her insecure (she might have been cheated on, or she might have been lied to or she may have low self-esteem), but this will take a lot of honesty and opening up on her part. Is she willing to make herself vulnerable and expose these insecurities to you? What about you?

And please, may I suggest something? Reconsider that rule. Do you really need it? If you do, then again, this will only take care of things on the surface and for a little while, while masking/covering other issues in your relationship. Think about it.

1
source | link

You can't have your cake and eat it too, dear!

(You could tell your girlfriend that!)

I'm teasing a little but this is what your girlfriend reminded me of. She wants to be able to have control over who you can and can't text, without allowing you to have the same control over who she can or can't text.

If you ask me, this is a bad rule that is going to be broken. Honestly, this is an effort to exert control on each other. Not a good start, not a good sign, unless you are both happy with that on principle.

In general, setting rules when there is no need, to begin with, creates more problems than it solves. And usually rules are meant to be broken. One of you will, sooner or later. Having a rule like that won't make you trust each other more or protect you from other people trying to interfere in your relationship or from yourselves (make you less likely to cheat).

Trust takes time and it's something that both people need to work on and help build. I don't know how many long term relationships you both had-not many I would assume because of your age-but this problem might just be a problem of different levels of maturity and commitment. Are you happy with her? Is she happy with you? Is feeling safe in a relationship important to you both? How would you like to achieve that (within reason)?

If you don't feel comfortable with your partner's behavior-any behavior-of course you should talk about it. I'm not saying you should accept something that doesn't make you feel good inside. But always remember, who has the actual problem, you or your girlfriend? (I'm talking about projections).

Also, being attractive doesn't mean you are willing to let some random woman seduce you and/or "steal" you from your girlfriend. While it might be true that some women might approach you with that in mind, what happens next is up to you, right? You are in control, not them.

She sounds a little insecure. If you care about her and your relationship, you could try to find out what made her insecure (she might have been cheated on, or she might have been lied to or she may have low self-esteem), but this will take a lot of honesty and opening up on her part. Is she willing to make herself vulnerable and expose these insecurities to you? What about you?

And please, may I suggest something? Reconsider that rule. Do you really need it? If you do, then again, this will only take care of things on the surface and for a little while, while masking/covering other issues in your relationship. Think about it.