I'm the only child in a religious, conservative family. We do not see eye to eye on many current events, as they often only watch a single (biased) news source, and stand their ground on somewhat narrow/unfounded/unexposed views of the world. For the most part I try to be understanding, since we come from a small, non-diverse town, where most people grow up unexposed to issues outside of the town.
However, I have found that my dating preference is to date members of the same gender, which has been greatly troubling to my parents. They first found this out 5 years ago, forcing me to move out. They seemingly "chose to forget" (unspoken, unmentioned, etc) that I had come out to them after the relationship had ended and I was single for a while.
Once I started dating again, I came out to my mom again about my sexuality for the second time. She told me not to ever talk to her about it, and that she wanted no part in knowing about my love life. She has not told my dad, so he does not contribute to this scenario (but he would react even more poorly).
Whenever I go through any life struggles and complain to my mom, she starts giving me long winded rants about why I shouldn't live my life by myself. This often comes off as demeaning and frustrating to me. I'm a very social/romantic person, but she has chosen to not know or be a part of this part of my life and thus her assumptions that I have no one in my life at all are really testing my patience.
These conversations usually go something like the following:
Me: "The other day someone knocked on my door at 2am and it was kind of alarming."
Mom: "You should never answer the door if someone does that! This is why you need to find a soulmate... Someone to protect you, care for you, and be your partner in life. That way I know that you are safe."
While I know she genuinely wants me to not be alone, this makes me angry and upset. Because of our relationship when it comes to my sexuality, this instead sounds like:
"This is why you need to find a man to keep you safe, protect you, and take care of you."
Previously, I have over-reacted and told her to essentially "mind her own business" if she didn't want to be part of that part of my life, but she backpedaled and acted hurt by my reaction. I've also tried telling her (albeit subtlely) that I have someone and I don't need her to worry about me. Neither of these have helped dissuade her continued annoyance.
I'd like to still have a relationship with my mom in which we can talk about my life and the things that happen. However, I don't want my mom to talk at me about my love life, since I'm "not allowed" to respond to her (i.e. telling her that I am in a relationship and her concern is unwarranted). How can I, most politely, get it across to my mother that I don't want her talking to me about things she actively chooses to not know about my life?