So we have been together for the past 3 years 9 months. Of course before our relationship we knew each other and did spend a couple of months before giving our friendship the "relationship" tag. We met when we were undergrads, and then continued it through our graduate studies as well. After our grad studies we both have been trying to get into PhD, and focus on our career. She being a bit academically weak I used to help her out in all possible way.
We always had a very transparent relationship. We had immense trust and respect for each other. Though we both had access to each others cell phone, emails, we never used to have that suspicion. It was mutual in nature.
Of late we are going through a rough patch. It all started around 7 months ago, last August. The frequent texts and calls stopped all of a sudden. Whenever I used to call it keep ringing only to get a call back as late as 24 hours. Whenever I conveyed my feeling to her regarding her sudden change in behavior she used to tell she wasn't well, she was away or my cell phone wasn't reachable.
I'm extremely sane as an individual and gave her all the space she did require (though she never once requested for it). Never did I try to enforce anything. Except for a few occasions where I did argue with her regarding her recent antics. Infact went as far as to tell that if she needed a breakup it's fine. She can have that. But she told me how much I meant to her, and how much she was in love with me.
Things took a turn for worse in November where she went on a trip with her family for 15 odd days. In 2 days I would get a call that she was fine, and then she would hang up. I conveyed that emotionally I was down, and sad. She didn't give two hoots about it.
I can share a small incident that happened during her trip. I texted her in WhatsApp. She read it. No reply. Called her (17 times to be precise) didn't pick up. 14 hours plus went by no calls. Called her didn't pick up. Only to call back a couple of minutes later to inform that she was having a hard time with her Dad (just a background info, her Dad is pretty old and can't walk properly).
I did understand all her difficulties but couldn't reason with myself as to her sudden change of behavior. I mean who can't make a 1 minute call in a 24-hour time frame? At least if you love someone.
In December too, she took a sudden small trip for 5-days. These 5-days she maintained a total dead silence. No communication. I was so sad with all my previous experience I also never called her. I knew that once she returns should would call me and cook up stories. And she did shamelessly. I listened without any protest.
Yes that was the moment I was certain that she was cooking up stories. How? Did some digging and found out all this while when she told her trip was sudden, it was well planned out 3-weeks before hand. Secondly she was cheating academically and not sharing her resources. Like sending in applications for various jobs. It's startling cause I'm struggling and more or less have the same skill set.
And the time frame too matched. August. Confronted her, she confessed. She said she was sorry and she didn't knew what she was doing. I thought good. I gave her a second chance (ignoring my own inner voice, my friends and family), in the hope she would rectify. But the next day itself she did the same thing again.
She knows exactly how to manipulate me by playing with my emotions. At least that's what I feel now. I have been taken for granted too long.
I just want to know how to organically convey all my feelings and explain to her that I personally need to stop all communication with her (I am feeling emotionally and physically used).