TL;DR: I need ask for a refund without ruining a friendship.
I needed to move out of my student apartment since I am not a student anymore. I did not want to move back in with my parents. My friend offered his bed & breakfast for 1 month. He couldn't rent it to tourists because the neighbors are having construction and thus make a lot of noise during the day. This is no issue for me because I need to work during the day.
While I was heading there to talk about the terms, in the street a stranger acts aggressively towards me. (hits random objects, proceeds walking to me to shout in my face in close proximity, +/- 1 meter, in a foreign language, aggressive body language). I biked away, hid somewhere around a corner, and informed the police. A couple of days later, I told my friend that I was not interested due to the incident that happened in that street.
He asked me to come for dinner to talk it over. He assured me that something like that has never happened before, and that I have nothing to worry about. I believed him, so the deal was done. (In retrospect, this is the moment where I should have refused to 'talk it over').
I moved in there and the first night was cold. I was scared at every sound from the street. Apparently the incident was still rather fresh in my mind. And I started to have a panic attack.
I called my father to let me please stay with him for now. I informed my friend that I was moving out of his apartment and I dropped the key in his mailbox.
In an e-mail I stated that "The money I gave you is rightfully yours, and is the result of my error in judgement.". This is what I want to go back on.
This all takes places in the same city, so there are no high stakes. And I can miss the money, I just do not wish to. How can I ask for a refund politely?
- I let him know that I would greatly appreciate a refund. (it is no problem if he refuses)
- Give him no reason to be offended.
This is in the Netherlands, and said friend has English roots.