How to handle two friends talking to me at the same time?

Question

I am a 19 years old male living in Canada.

Sometimes, when I'm having a discussion with friends, two of them will start telling me something at the same time, each of them ignoring the fact that the other person is also talking to me.

I usually react by only listening and responding to only one person but I feel like that's rude to the other person whose statement gets ignored, especially since both of these people are good friends of mine.

My question is: how can I answer only one of 2 friends talking at the same time without sounding rude or offending the second friend?

Answer 1

I'll tell you how I've seen it done, as I'm often one of the many people talking to, say, X.

X calmly closes his eyes, and raises his hands. If the talking continues, he firmly says: "Stop guys, not getting anything..." He smiles at us, and then gestures at the one nearest to him to start over. This works hassle free and no one feels hurt. Also, you don't have to be rude this way.

When someone is being spoken to by more than one person at a time, s/he can't hear any of them properly, and end up irritated, or dazed with bits out of both people's words. That's why sometimes, people feel that rudeness is necessary (as @sphennings said), but I personally don't think so. Anything that can be done rudely can be done nicely as well.

Answer 2

Rudeness is an important social tool when used correctly. In this case interrupting one of your friends to tell them to be quiet because you're trying to listen to someone else, while definitely rude, clearly communicates that their behavior is disruptive and not OK.

To get the most mileage out of your deliberate flaunting of the social convention of politeness, be direct, and clear. Interrupt, point out that others were already talking, and cede your turn.

Answer 3

If the two start talking at the same time

Do not add your voice to the two already talking. Instead, raise both your hands, each one with the palm towards the two friends, and say something like

Hey hey hey, I've got two ears but only one brain. Only one person speaking, please.

Then you look at them and leave the task of deciding talking turns to them. Like this you don't favor a friend over another, you're just stating that this kind of communication is ineffective. It's up to them, now, to choose which one is going to talk, and, since it's their agreement, it's likely that they are going to respect it.

If one of them is talking and another follows

Now this is different. The second friend is being rude, so you can interrupt him and point out that the first one was talking -- he can resume telling his story afterwards. Just do not make a mountain out of a molehill: be short and do not rant about you friend's habit of talking over other people.

Often, the difference between a rude sentence and a firm one lies in the nonverbal. To convey that you're not angry or think ill of the second friend, do not frown, do not raise your voice (or, if you have to do it to be heard, soften it as soon as a loud voice is not needed anymore), look at your friend in the eyes.