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Frequently my friend will invite me to play a game that we both enjoy. It has a fairly venomous reputation for having a toxic community, and while there are exceptions I'm forced to agree with the reputation.

Still, for the most part I think I am able to stay positive and we both have fun.

However, when my friend plays the more stressful roles in the game, where he is more in the spotlight for his performance, he quickly descends into being extremely irritable, even though usually he is a beacon of positivity. It becomes obvious almost immediately that he is not having fun playing the game when he gets like this, and he has to very obviously restrain himself from snapping out in anger at his friends, who we all know he cares about.

I want to continue enjoying this game with my friend, but more importantly I want to help him to continue having fun, even when he plays the roles that he finds stressful, or performs poorly.

I have tried ignoring his situation, but he just stays on the same path. I have also tried to make jokes to lighten the mood, and mention positive things, to focus on the silver-lining, but this ranged from making things worse to keeping things the same.

I am not particularly concerned about the effect this has on me, or my other friends. Rather, answers to this question should try to help me help my friend deal with his anger going forward. He is a very reasonable individual and I expect that he would be amenable to many suggestions.

What can I do for my friend to help him de-stress and have fun in these circumstances?

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    Are you playing in a competitive/ranked environment or in a more casual mode?
    – Arthas
    Mar 1, 2018 at 19:10
  • The described situation occurs in both casual and competitive environments.
    – Onyz
    Mar 1, 2018 at 19:11
  • @EmC I think my situation is a bit less extreme than that, although I do see the resemblance... I would also point out however that I am less interested in my own enjoyment here than I am trying to ensure that my friend has fun. I can tolerate the occasional angry game, but I'd prefer to be able to help him keep cool for his own sake.
    – Onyz
    Mar 1, 2018 at 19:17
  • @Onyz I see, you might want to edit your question to explain how the solutions here should be different from answers on the potential duplicate, so it is clear to future voters :)
    – Em C
    Mar 1, 2018 at 20:04

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It might be in the nature of the game to cause irritation for certain types of people, and that's nothing you can really change. They may have some latent anger issues that they need to work through, but until that happens, this may end up repeating itself many times. If this doesn't bother you, then just accept this as an "occupational hazard" of playing this particular game.

However, you may be able to put a bandaid the issue in the short term if this does indeed bother you:

In my own experience, Super Smash Brothers caused me a lot of raging because despite how hard I try, I end up losing and it eats at me. It got to the point my friends noticed it, and we ended up deciding on a few points to de-stress may be helpful to your situation:

  • Taking a break from the game when the feelings of anger begin surfacing
  • Finding other games to play that are less stressful
  • Include more friends in the game
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