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I have a roommate, and it seems to me that despite being friendly, he is out for his own, and will gladly use my printer and household machines. One time he tried to screw on a plastic coat hanger on my wooden doors.

He probably complains and laughs about me behind my back (he does this even about other people with me). I am starting to incorporate some of these nasty traits.

This situation is very stupid and it's causing me pain. I once asked him to get out, and he changed his tune and said things like "Don't put me in a bad situation in the middle of the semester". I think he just threatened me in the middle of a facebook conversation saying "There's very few things I can't do".

The guy used my washing machine a few days before, and when I asked him about it, he lied, said he didn't use it and that he washed the clothes himself.

I am stressed about these micro-aggresions in my own flat. How do I deal with him?

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    So are you the apartment owner or do you guys rent together? If he's doing all these things, why have you not kicked him out, since it sounds like you have the power to? Last but not least, what are you actually trying to accomplish? Have a chat with him? Kick him out? What country do you live in? – AndreiROM Mar 2 '18 at 19:27
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    Do you own the flat? You sound like the door is "yours" as in property, are you the landlord? Do you have authority to evict him? Also, please provide more information. For example if he rents the flat and there is a washing machine, it would be expected that he can use it unless you specifically said so. Check the lease. I always make sure my leases clear up such points. – bobflux Mar 2 '18 at 19:27
  • I own the flat, didn't kick him out of courtesy, Indian subcontinent @AndreiROM – precipice120 Mar 2 '18 at 19:29
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    Why didn't you kick him out? Is there some sort of familial relationship that you're afraid of ruining? The reason I ask is because we need all these details to help you out here. Also, you still haven't stated a goal here. – AndreiROM Mar 2 '18 at 19:30
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    The tone of your question is a bit... angry. You should smooth it a little bit if you don't want the mods to do it for you . Anyway. You own the flat, so I assume you know the lease, so what did you put in the lease regarding the washing machine and other stuff that he uses? – bobflux Mar 2 '18 at 19:31
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I feel like the only way you're going to get anywhere with this guy is by laying down the ground rules firmly. For how inconsiderate he's being, you're way past dancing around the issue (who screws a hanger into a door?). Since you're the apartment owner, you have control here (unless he's on the lease, then things can get hairy, or depending on your country's laws on people who live with you).

Sit him down with no one around and lay out the boundaries you'd like to set (don't touch my stuff, etc). Tell him that if he cannot follow simple boundaries, you'll kick him out. Don't let him guilt trip you, because that's exactly how an inconsiderate person would act when being confronted.

The big thing is sticking to your stance and not letting him guilt trip you. In the meantime, look into what you'd have to do to get him kicked out, because it's likely no matter what you do, this is where its heading and it's best to get the preparations out of the way now.

I've had terrible roommates before, and getting the point across usually involved an ultimatum to get things back on track. People like your roommate will walk all over you unless you stand up for yourself.

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