First off, I am a lesbian married to a woman who is bisexual. I'm not sure how much that matters, but it could.
She has always been the more fashion-conscious, make-up friendly person in the relationship, and I've always been more simple and conservative in the way I dress. That is generally a non-issue, but one of the things she likes to accessorize is shoes, which was fine when we first met, but now that we've been married and living together for the past couple years, her shoe collection is getting excessive and is becoming a financial drain on both of us. The other day she bought $300 pumps that she simply doesn't need, for example.
I haven't yet had a serious conversation with her about it because every time the subject comes up it tends to be a joke and, "Oh, you know how I am about my shoes!" kinda thing, but it's not funny anymore. Her shoes take up the entire front hall of our house and she is starting to borrow money from me for clothes shopping.
My question is how do I tackle this without it becoming a fight about me not liking her for who she is, yada yada, when all I really care about is putting an end to her addiction to shoes?