I go to dance classes run by one group and we have a common facebook chat to suggest bars to go to that play suitable music. We've talked about how we need to support venues by inviting non-dance friends and having dinner there.

One of my friends added a guy who now wants to run dance classes from the bar separate from the original group.

I have issues with this as

  1. There is peer pressure to join his dance class on a regular basis.
  2. He acts like we owe him something.
  3. Other dance events come up at the same time as his class - the purpose of the chat is to promote all events not just his.

one of the ladies has pointed out that their partner is busy at that time. Which he can't really argue with.

Are there similar arguments I could make to

  1. Say I'm not interested in his class
  2. Suggest events that are on at the same time

Is that a good idea?

This question is as much about having a "ready to go" answer should this come up again as it is about the current situation.

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    "But I have a duty to prevent harm to the community where I see it." - This goes against everything else in your question about you personally trying to get out of the class. Are you trying to make a stand? Or are you trying to personally avoid attending without causing any conflict? pick one – Jesse Mar 9 '18 at 4:42
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    Possible duplicate of hobby vs creating a business boundary – Tinkeringbell Mar 9 '18 at 6:13
  • In case of closed questions, you improve the existing one and try to get that reopened, not post a new one. Voting to close this a s a duplicate, go improve the first one. – Tinkeringbell Mar 9 '18 at 6:14

I think this falls into a common category of interpersonal missteps. Nice considerate type folks try a little too hard to soften the blow sometimes. And less nice, less considerate people will tend to try to take advantage of that tendency. Nice folks feel the need to be nice even when they're under no obligation to be nice, which leaves not so nice people a lot of room to get away with nonsense.

I've said it before and I'll keep saying it till it stops being true; you don't have to qualify the word "No"

"No." is a complete sentence.

If you feel like being polite you could stretch it out into a:

No, thank you, I'm not interested.

The advantage to using an unqualified "no" is that it gives the not-so-nice-person no angle to argue with. You didn't give them a reason to work around.

If you really feel strongly about the situation, you could consider telling them the cold hard truth.

From your post it sounds like something like this might fit:

I dance for fun, not to line your pockets. You're exploiting your friends, and the bars we enjoy dancing at. If you want to follow your dream of being a dance instructor, do it properly. Rent out a hall, buy your own equipment and some music and invite people to your classes. Few things kill a good time faster than someone turning it into a poorly managed business.

I've seen not-so-nice-people do this in a few local music scenes... They find something that young folks were doing on their own, for little to no money, and try to find a way to make a living off of them. They didn't really add anything to the experience, they just figured out a way to squeeze themselves in as a middle man of sorts. These people are, to be completely honest, parasites; they'll bleed a scene dry if you let them.

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    Just say NO is probably the best advice ever ignored. Saying it until it sticks is a long road, and a good goal. – Chindraba Mar 9 '18 at 5:08

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