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I’m 18 years old in grade 11 in a high school in Bucharest.

Some of my classmates wanted to make photos and videos of me and I hate that. I tried to tell them “enough!!” but they don’t listen.

Q-1: How can I make my classmates to stop recording me, or ask my permission before they do this?

I wish I could know how to do this, because this thing is bugging me a lot being recorded without my permission just because they want to bother me. It’s simply not right to happen and not logic.

Today was a good example of this behavior: I have arrived to school and one of my classmates entered, put her stuff on her desk and then she sat on my table taking selfie and I caught her including also me selfies. I made clear signs for her to stop recording but no use, she then made a video of me and took several photos and I kept trying to tell her “stop, enough” but no use. I’m pretty sure she sent to someone my picture or video of me.

Reason: In grade 7 I had a lot of problems for nothing with my classmates. One of them had a phone and filmed me, and put it on YouTube, and then I got very pissed off, because it’s not right at all. Luckily, my best friend got the video removed completely from YouTube.

I’m trying to find solutions to make others in my class to ask my permission before they do something and not only them but also the strangers. I have tried to say “stop doing this” but still, is no use. It is like I’m speaking to a wall.

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People generally have the right to record what is around them. I agree that its annoying and feels like a violation of privacy, unfortunately besides a polite request not to there aren't many avenues to prevent this. You have already tried that and the fact that your classmates have continued in this behavior has convinced me that:

  1. Your classmates who are continuing to record you are bullying you

  2. They are recording you to antagonize you

  3. Their tactic is based on the results of the incident in 7th grade and similar more recent events

I am answering based on these assumptions.

Keep in mind that you cannot force anybody to change their behavior, you can only change your own behavior and actions when interacting with them. This is not to say that you are to blame for any of their bullying, but that you may still have to shift your own behavior to avoid the negative impact of their actions.

The direct and honest approach that is a good course of action in most interpersonal problems would likely be counterproductive in this situation since it assumes the other party has your best interests in mind. Telling high school bullies that something they do bothers you is simply providing them with encouragement to continue.

Recording you (or appearing to record you) has been proven to elicit a negative reaction from you. These people are simply baiting you because they find it amusing to see you upset. This behavior will likely continue as long as they find your reaction amusing.

The best solution therefore, is to make recording you really boring and not worth their effort. Resist displaying any annoyance or anger. Calmly turn away from any recording if its convenient to do so. If you stop rising to the bait, these people will probably lose interest and stop harassing you in this manner.

I had a classmate throughout primary school who became infamous for his loud and emotional responses to some teasing. He continued to draw negative attention of people who thought it was funny to see him upset in this way. This only changed when he stopped reacting to their bait.

Beyond interpersonal: Bullying is serious and seeking help from staff in your school may be a worthwhile strategy.

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    "People generally have the right to record what is around them." Not at a school. – Acccumulation Mar 15 '18 at 22:00
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    @Acccumulation this comes down to a school by school decision and I don't know the details. Also OP originally asked about incidents both in and out of school. – spiral succulent Mar 15 '18 at 22:07
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Be as boring as possible while being filmed

A video of you ignoring the camera questions being asked, or whatever else they're doing isn't going to be remotely interesting. Shouting at the person filming gives them something interesting to film.

Continue to focus on whatever you were doing at the time.

  • Ok, I’ll try and see. Thanx for the answer – Alex A Mar 13 '18 at 23:49

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