I am a moderately good looking woman. With basic makeup and hair styling, I can make myself look pretty. This is my preferred look when I go out. I often get a lot of stares, sometimes admiring and sometimes nasty, from other male colleagues and I have pretty much accepted that it, mainly because I cannot help it.
There are cases when there is a woman by their side and it makes her uncomfortable. It could be that man's wife, or a girlfriend.
For instance, I was at a party of a very close female friend. I had a few small interactions with her husband earlier so it was natural for him to greet me. It was a simple "Hi, how are you?" But my friend was clearly upset by this and she made a long face at me all the time. Not to mention that our interactions have gone down after this incident.
I was at a coffee bar with a friend. After sometime and all of sudden when I casually looked up, I saw a young woman giving me angry looks. I looked at her the second time and nothing changed. I saw someone sitting beside her, I am assuming he was her date, and that man was staring at me. I just minded my business and left the place.
There was another incident where I was travelling with a friend in a bus. That bus had seating system where two sets of passengers face each other and that pattern is repeated throughout the bus. There was a couple sitting in front of me, and as soon as I took my seat, the woman asked the man to exchange his seat with hers. The man was sitting opposite to me.
While this kind of attention is definitely a confidence booster, I'm not an attention seeker nor was I there to create a havoc in their love life. But, I cannot forget those stares. They make me feel guilty about something which I do not understand. Also, I am a little upset about the way my friend chose to minimize her interactions with me.
Question: How could I signify to these women that I'm not interested in responding to those stares and that they have nothing to worry about?
Many of the answers here mention that I need to ignore such stares and I completely agree with that. Only that I need to have a thick skin to start implementing it. Also, got to know many things like 'mate guarding behaviour', that I need to help my friend 'validate their relationship', that I cannot control what others think of me.
And to all those who asked and suggested that I stop wear revealing clothing, it was not a fair thing to say. One cannot hide the silhouette no matter what. And the definition of revealing clothing is not defined. For some, wearing a sleeveless dress or showing ankle cleavage could be revealing too.
Yes, I am not going to tone down my appearance.