I do programming and web development as a hobby, and I have experience building computers, and have fixed computers in the past, so naturally I'm going to seem like a good fit for solving most people's tech issues... and sadly, non-tech issues.
I however, don't really like being non-tech/tech support for other people (particularly family members since they ask the most frequently), most of the time because I can't solve their problem or the problem takes a lot of effort to solve; however, if I can help with the issue and it's a quick fix, it's no problem for me.
My mom is the worst in particular, because she acts like I'm a genius in all tech and non-tech fields, and that I can solve any problem ever, and that I don't want to help her. Examples of this include being asked to fix plumbing, help with fixing cars, and help with fixing household appliances, which are 3 things I am not very good at. Naturally, she's one the one that bothers me the most frequently, of all people.
The main problem I have with her is that she's extremely aggressive when I give her help. A lot of the time, me giving her tech support happens like this:
- She calls for me.
- If I don't come, or say I won't help, she'll be upset.
- She vaguely describes her problem.
- I ask her to show me the problem or elaborate further on the problem because her description isn't good enough.
- If the answer is obvious to me and I tell her and she's not satisfied, she says I don't know what I'm talking about and/or that my solution is stupid.
- If I try to ask her further questions to see what the problem is and/or talk about possible causes to the problem rather than answering immediately, she says I don't know what I'm talking about, even if I tell her I don't know what the problem exactly is, or what the cause of the problem exactly is and that there's no magical way I can instantly deduce the cause of the problem or the solution to the problem.
- If I try to give her places to look for information, or try to do anything that'd help her solve the problem on her own (now or in the future), as this question's answers suggest, I am told I don't know what I'm talking about and/or that I don't want to help and/or that I'm not helpful.
- If I tell her I genuinely don't know anything about what she's asking for help about, she gets upset and tells me I'm not helpful and/or that I don't want to help.
- An argument ensues about how I do or don't indeed know what I'm talking about. I never get to finish what I was saying previously.
- I leave, annoyed.
- She tries to figure out the answer on her own, sometimes ending up with an incorrect or harmful answer if she does find one.
- If she finds an answer, she tells me and brags to me that she found the answer and that she knows better than me.
- If she finds an answer and it's incorrect/harmful and I try to tell her, she won't listen to me.
I feel like it is genuinely impossible to help her most of time, because I never get to opportunity to finish what I'm saying or doing, and I feel forced to go get up and help her, despite knowing it'll be a waste of my time.
I'm sick of this happening and I'm wondering what I can do to:
- Make her stop asking me for help, or ask me for help less frequently.
- Make her actually listen to me and answer my questions and follow my instructions when I actually do help her.