We are in our mid 20s living in Germany and have separated over one and a half years ago. We have grown even closer despite breaking up back then. I broke up with her because of her lack of affection towards me (she knows it, we talked a lot about it). As per her words I am the closest person to her; closer than anyone has ever been. Since our breakup we have had sex once (December last year), as per her own words it wasn't a mistake. She confided in me that she throws me out after one to two hours because she fears we would have sex (January). We sometimes talk about sex and intimacy in general; face to face works about 40 to 50% of the times, while via text works only 10 to 20% of the times.
Whenever I insist on getting an answer from her (this includes any and all topics) she starts ignoring me (has been like that since we first met each other).
Last time we met (Saturday the week before last) we were almost intimate. She didn't want to because it were her fertile days.
How can I talk to her about our intimacy when most of the times she either ignores the questions or changes the subject?
Obviously I don't mind being intimate with her, even asexual intimacy, though I don't want to get back together with her yet (she knows it, we also talked a lot about that). Edit: I do not wish for her to only be intimate with me because of fear I may leave her completely. Which is why I need to know if she is being honest when we get intimate.
Knowledge I seek from talking to her about it:
- Why she avoids the subject most of the times
- Why she wants to have sex with me now
Bonus: Make her comfortable talking about (our) intimacy with me.