I am a 24 year old living with my parents. I'll soon be 25. I study at a local university/college. Lately (the past few years) it has not been going well. I am considering dropping out, maybe two semesters away from graduation. But maybe two years. I don't know.
I have my reasons for dropping out:
- I have a job already. They don't care wheter I have a degree or not. In fact, they wouldn't have to spend any extra time/money on me doing assignments at work, so it's a win for them.
- I wouldn't have to do my graduation internship, which means I can get a permanent contract, instead of this temporary one and buy or rent a house and finally move out.
- I would be able to recover from this feeling of depression easier.
My own reasons for not dropping out:
- Not having a degree can potentially limit my career, but frankly, I just want to leave this horrible situation. I'll sort my career out later. I can always start an online degree later, anyway.
- I'll have to pay back my student loans to the government that would be a gift if I finished. This amount is about half a year salary.
It seems easy, 'just tell them your reasons'. If it was that easy, I would do it. My parents do not understand how much effort it is to continue studying at the moment. They do not see how it makes me sick in my stomach. All they see is the first woman in our family who got to go to university throwing it all away. They have allowed me to live with them all through uni. In fact, they're allowing my boyfriend to stay with us too. I understand they would not be happy. I think they would even be a bit disappointed at first.
The solution I am looking for
I would like to convince my parents that dropping out is the best possible course for now. I would like for them to understand and accept my reasoning. I have enough reasons, but I don't think they will listen if I say something among the lines of
Hey, mom, dad, just letting you know, I'm dropping out
How can I make them listen to my reasoning, without them immediately getting angry/getting frustrated/some other thing that disrupts the conversation as soon as they hear I want to drop out?
I think some conversation guideline, either leading up to my arguments or using my arguments, would help a lot.
- They are aware of my troubles in college, but not of the extend.
- They (mainly my mom) believes depression exists, but only happens to 'other people'.
- I have scheduled an appointment to get help with feeling depressed. Perhaps a doctor can help my mother understand to what extend this affects me.
- I think they will understand eventually. There will a few phases they go through, understandably. Not understanding > frustration > disappointment > understanding > accepting, is what I think. My goal is for them to move through negative phases as fast as possible.