I have a friend - let's call her Jane. Jane's a nice gal. We get along, meetup from time to time (when she doesn't decide to cancel at the last hour) and is someone I actually like hanging out with. As of late I've been turned off from trying to do anything with her because 3 times out of 5 she cancels.
A couple months ago she gave me a video camera after I asked to borrow one for a project. She said I could keep it and after I sheepishly asked if she was sure she said it was really okay because it was old/she had newer equipment/was getting a new one for her birthday. I accepted the gift happily.
This next part probably isn't so relevant but it bothers me; I had a showing for my video, something that she knew I worked hard at for months. She RSVP'd as going and cancelled a few days before the premier.
Anyhow Jane messaged me to meetup so I can explain cryptocurrencies to her. It ended like this:
Also - could you bring my camera? I'm working on a few projects that require multiple recording devices.
From the read of it, I'm unclear whether she:
- Wants to borrow the gift she remembers giving me
- Wants to keep the gift she remembers giving me
- Wants to keep the gift she does not remember giving me
- Wants to borrow the gift she does not remember giving me
This puts me in a strange spot because I don't know whether I'll get the camera back and, even though replacing it wouldn't be trouble, it still kind of sucks that a friend would take a gift back... but I don't even know if that's what she intends to do.
How do I clarify that the camera is mine (which us uncomfortable to say since it was hers) and that I would like it back in a way that isn't super awkward?
The ideal outcome
Jane and I are still friends (even if just unreliably so)
I ended up going in with a combination of Val's directness and LinuxBlanket's show of appreciation. I said something along the lines of
Hey, thanks for letting me use the camera! It really helped out :) Of course I'll bring it. Do you think I can have it back? Or should I buy a new one?
In the end, while I'm still not sure that it's "mine" I feel like that doesn't matter - I can use it more or less when I need to and we're still friendly.
Thanks for the advice... for a little bit hearing everyone out felt like playing pokemon twitch for relationships but it all worked out :)