I recently went through a pretty rough break-up with a long term boyfriend. I've been feeling a little better about it recently and my friends have noticed.
My problem comes in with one friend in particular. Let's say he's Bob. Bob recently confessed to me that he has been attracted to me for about two years now. We talked about it for a little bit and I explained (poorly) that I was still reeling from the break-up. We dropped the topic.
Please note I don't want to be with this person in any capacity beyond a typical friendship. There's no reason for it other than I'm not attracted to him or interested in him in any way beyond the relationship we already have together.
After the confession, he's been trying to spend time with me one-on-one. Tonight, Bob asked if I wanted to go to dinner with him and I invited a friend to come along with us. It's important to note that the other person I invited is someone I'm very close with and previously had had a casual relationship with, but for many complicated reasons, is never someone I would end up dating seriously. He and I are very comfortable with each other and will often give each other long hugs and/or cuddle pretty openly. We've also kissed very briefly since the break-up.
After dinner, the three of us leave and hang out in a common area for a little while. The third friend (a little bit drunk) is very close to me during this time and pulls me into hugs and leans his head on my shoulder and such. He then goes to bed and leaves Bob and I alone. Bob asks me why I'm so close with this third friend and why I've been going on so many dates with people from an online dating app I've been using. We have a bit of an indirect conversation about it, but it seems very awkward and I didn't give any satisfactory answers.
Towards the end of the night, he asks if I would want to lay down with him for a little bit, in a purely platonic way. I politely decline. He also keeps offering to let me sleep in his room because at this point it's past 4am and I still needed to drive home. I graciously decline these offers as well.
I need a way to explain, directly and honestly, with my friend that I'm just not interested him as anything more. I want him to understand that I really, truly am still reeling from the break-up and that I'm not looking for anything real or serious. I'm using these other things as (admittedly poor) coping mechanisms and that's the extent of it. I'd also like to avoid discussing my relationship with the third friend if I can. I want Bob and myself to be able to be friends afterwards and still have the same relationship we've always had, but I don't want it to be awkward between us either. This whole situation is making the process of getting over the break-up a lot more difficult and making me feel really guilty over the whole thing.