I was in a country in Eastern Europe. I went to a practice-public-speaking event, as a visitor (to see if I wanted to join the group). After the event, all of us went to a small restaurant close to the event, to eat brunch and drink coffee.
An older man (65 years?), from the US, who was part of the group, said to me (another man) that the women there are beautiful and make good and loyal housewives, didn't I think so too?
I didn't like that question, because I don't like looking at other people as housewives or someone's "servants". Also, I felt ashamed, because there were many women there (members of the group), and I didn't want to be seemingly participating in a discussion about them being housewives.
How can I reply to him in a way that makes him abruptly stop talking about that? And that doesn't offend him?
If he gets offended I'd be a tiny bit worried he'd start ridiculing me in front of the others. He was referring to one of his children as a social justice warrior (which is a negative/ridiculing phrase), and on the Internet he writes bad things about people from Africa, and calls his other children things like lazy and selfish. All of his three children have broken all contact with him.
Do you have suggestions about what to say / do? (and how do you think he'd react, if I said that?)
I was a bit curious about who he was, and was okay with continuing talking with him, but about other things. So just walking away, would have felt a bit ... boring, and maybe unnecessarily impolite.
I didn't want to offend him, because
- maybe it would be interesting to talk with him about other things, also I got curious and wanted to find out more about him and his viewpoints.
- I think if I "angrily" rejected his attempt to talk with me, the others around us might have noticed, and ... I was new in the group, my first day. He was a long term member. And I think that, the first day, rejecting a long-term member in a not-polite way could have given a bad impression of me. ... Also, if two people seem to not get along with each others, the others nearby won't know which of them is "weird", or maybe they'll think both are.