Most of the multiplayer-games I play with friends end with them telling me how I am unbearable and ruin the game for them. I like playing these games and I like playing quite competitively, although I enjoy a good challange far more than a fast victory.

Most of my friends however do not share my attitude at all. When we play video games together they only agree to play co-op vs AI (which is just boring in most games). I am known for my 'militant' play-style in Civilization games, which I learned playing vs AI, yet none of them even tries to build any defences, instead they'll quit once I attack them, even if taking military action is the only way to prevent them to achieve a slow but steady victory over the next couple hours.

I can't get them to try facing me in any Real Time Strategy Game, even if I set up a prize pool.

In less aggressive games like 'the Guild', I've even been called an anti-social asshole, just because I wanted to choose the same profession as one of my friends (and thus risk creating a 'conflict' on the market).

I'd love to have a good challenge, but playing with these guys is like playing ludo without the abillitiy to kick anyones pieces from the board.

Do you have any ideas how to introduce these hardcore softies to a more competitive gameplay?

  • 2
    As I'm reading it, this question boils down to "How do I make people do something in their free time they clearly do not want to do?" Apr 5 '18 at 15:20
  • Deciding the style in which a group will play the game (for a laugh, competitive, to build a diverse guild) is almost always either implied or decided on before playing. Can you give any examples where they agreed to playing competitively and still called you an asshole? I am all for competitive play but having a more reasonable attempt as an example to work off of would help.
    – Jesse
    Apr 5 '18 at 15:54
  • Recommend rephrasing of this question to "How to approach different playstyles between me and my friends" - there is no correct answer to the question as it stands but there is room to discuss how you might address the situation as it certainly is an interpersonal conflict that requires intervention. Right now this question makes the potentially incorrect assumption that your friends CAN be persuaded to be competitive.
    – Tay W
    Apr 6 '18 at 10:11
  • interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/11994/… may be relevant.
    – Tay W
    Apr 6 '18 at 10:18

There are many gamers who enjoy certain video games and their multiplayer modes but have no interest in playing at a competitive level, regardless of their talent. It's either just to unwind or to enjoy another aspect of it, such as the story or role-playing aspect.

It sounds as if your friends have no desire to reach your level of passion. If you are determined to continue playing with them, you will have to be more accommodating of their preferred play styles. Indulge their preferences every so often with co-op games. Similarly, you can ease them towards your level by suggesting (for example) upping the AI opponent's level on occasion or suggesting opening the game up to guest players online. Find a compromise, and if they are still unaccommodating, it might be time to find a more suited crowd to spend some time with or go solo.

Rather than talk down about them, allow them to see the benefits of playing more competitively. Perhaps there are aspects of the game that remain unexplored or untried to them? Maybe there's a challenge or event that would previously be out of their bounds. Demonstrate these in a friendly way; find interesting reasons for them to engage at your level rather than just being told to.

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