My girlfriend and I [19F, 19M] have been together for 2 years and have just graduated from the local polytechnic (estimated to be similar to the US Associate's degree) and its now the vacation period before her university starts. I have found a part-time job to pass the time while waiting for my enlistment into the Army.
I have known for a fact that my girlfriend never accepted my habitual sleeping hours (11pm to 6am on school / work days and around 12 midnight to 7.30am on vacation / weekends) but for the most part of our relationship thus far we were still studying and therefore this issue did not surface a lot as she would also sleep at around the same time as me in light of the next day being a school day. Usually, she would sleep at around 1am and wake up at 9.30am the next day when it comes to vacation.
Recently, though, she has been getting upset at night because I sleep too early and wake up too early on vacation days which is different from normal teenagers' sleeping hours (which are about the same as hers) in my country. However, it is difficult for me to change my sleeping hours as and when I like because I have been sleeping at these timings for most of my life. When I ask why she doesn't want to sleep early, she says she isn't tired yet. Moreover I have a temporary day job now, so it is even more difficult for me to sleep at 1am for a day or two on the weekends and change back to my usual sleep patterns afterwards.
How can I talk to my girlfriend and successfully lead her into a compromise with me on sleeping habits? I have tried discussing it with her before but her reply was more of a I-don't-really-have-a-choice-so-I'm-just-going-to-accept-it reply but I want her to be happy and I don't want it to be forced upon her to accept the compromise.
I don't live together with my girlfriend. (In Singapore it is generally a culture to live together only after marriage.)
My girlfriend, like most people, gets more emotional at night. Thus it causes a problem because:
- I'm going to sleep as she is getting emotional
- She won't have company when she is emotional.
'Company' in the aforementioned point mostly refers to phone calls and texting. Therefore, every night for about 1 to 2 hours before bed I will spend texting her and talking to her, as that is when we are available without any other distractions (work, obligations by parents, etc.)
Both our parents do not know about our relationship as it would seem to them as we are too young for a relationship (This is the conventional thinking of the general older generation in Singapore). They are generally conservative and protective parents. Thus we can't spend loads of time hanging out together because we would run out of excuses to leave the house to meet up with each other. That is the reason we use texting and phone calls as our main way of maintaining our happy relationship.
During vacation period / weekends, I do not set an alarm clock to wake myself up, and so I naturally wake up at 7+ am in the morning. I have tried to sleep again afterwards but I will just keep tossing and turning in bed. Furthermore if I continue staying in bed I will develop a headache.