I recently met a girl in Manhattan, near where I live. As I got to know her - we both happened to be getting late night food at the same place - she taught me about something called "Taylor ham", which is something that's apparently very popular, virtually sacred, in New Jersey, where she's from. She discussed some things with me about the typical uses of Taylor ham, such as making Taylor ham, egg, and cheese, on a Kaiser roll.

After about 15 minutes of talking, she got her food, gave me her phone number, written on a napkin, and asked for me to keep in touch - and then she drove home to New Jersey.


This happened a few nights ago, and I am planning to text her at some point, within the next day or so. However, given that the only topic of discussion that we had was about Taylor ham, I'm finding it difficult with regards to what to text her with. I don't know anything else about her, other than the fact that she's from New Jersey.


How can I transition a conversation about Taylor ham, with a girl, into a more meaningful conversation.

That is, how can I start a more varied conversation with her when all that we have talked about before is Taylor Ham?

She sounds like a person that I'd like to know better, but I'd like to make the conversation about more than just food.

  • 4
    You already know what you want to do (ask her to dinner) and how to do it (texting), so it sounds like you're asking us to come up with the words for you.
    – Em C
    Apr 9 '18 at 19:07
  • 7
    Can you explain why you think you need to transition at all? What do you consider "tactful"? It really sounds like you're looking for us to write pick-up lines for you, which is something that we've long prohibited here. Yes, I understand that you've already got her number, but that doesn't mean that you're not looking for clever ways to keep her interested... which really isn't our subject here.
    – Catija
    Apr 9 '18 at 21:04
  • 6
    All of that is subjective... so I'm not really sure how we can possibly guess what reaction this woman would have to it.
    – Catija
    Apr 9 '18 at 21:24
  • 4
    Voting to close this as unclear what you're asking until you've provided the details asked for above. In it's current form, this question is lacking detail. The most important one for me being that we don't know Taylor, so we don't know how she will react to any of this, and the fact that this still reads a little a like 'I want some advice on how to write my first message'.
    – Tinkeringbell
    Apr 10 '18 at 6:33
  • 4
    What's keeping your from using the conversation starters everybody uses in day to day life? What makes you think they won't suffice?
    – Tinkeringbell
    Apr 10 '18 at 7:09

Ah New Jersey's equivalent to Ambrosia.

Perhaps the best way to transition would be simply to ask her where the best place to get a Taylor, egg, and cheese is, and tell her:

Wow, I'd really like to try one some time, I've never had one.

Then ask her about her favorite places to get one, then about favorite places in the area in general. That way you can establish a rapport about more than just the food item.


Of course she wants to go on a date with you she gave you her number!

keep in touch

Is just code for "Call1 me invite me for a date".

This makes the transition very simple:

Hey I'm Hutch we met at that place the other night and you taught me about "Taylor ham" would you like to meet for dinner?

This answer is backed up by every time a girl gave me her number she expected me to ask her out for a date.

1 - I'm old fashioned and actually call people, you can do the same with texts if it makes sense to you.


I think there are two reasonable strategies here.

One: The easy strategy. As others noted, she gave you her phone number, which means she wants you to call her and ask her out. So call her and ask her out and don't mention Taylor ham. Odds are that she does not consider Taylor ham all that fascinating a subject either. It was just something to get a conversation rolling. So you got the conversation rolling. Now forget it. If you give her the idea that you are obsessed with Taylor ham, that's probably big minuses for this going anywhere, not a plus.

Two: The "ease in" strategy. Call her up and say, "Hi, I'm the guy you were talking to the other day about Taylor ham. Where's the best place you know to get Taylor ham? Foobar's, you say? How about you and I go there for lunch Saturday? Yes? Then maybe afterward we can go to a movie or a concert?" Etc. If you're lucky, she'll laugh at the way you smoothly transition from talking about ham to asking her on a date, and she'll say yes.

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