I have a family friend I have known for years who now lives in a different city, but when he comes home to see his parents, etc, he likes to stay at my place.
I'm totally fine with this, but recently he has started to invite others to my flat when he stays.
I don't even mind this, and I enjoy hanging out with him and others when they come around, the problem is when he takes it too far.
The way it goes is as follows:
- He stays at my place
- Invites his friends around
- They (sometimes I join) go out to a bar for drinks
- We end up back at my place in the early hours of the morning, at which point they will put on loud music, talk loudly, etc, etc
The first three are fine, the last one is not! It's me who has to go and smooth things over with the neighbors the next day.
On one occasion, I was out of town, so I left my key with a mutual friend for him to collect as he was home that weekend. The result was a 5AM text from the neighbor, telling me he had phoned the police because the noise was so bad.
I had to go and apologize to the bl**ping residents association to avoid getting evicted.
I've already told him this behavior isn't okay, that I want him to stop making loud noised after 11 PM. The problem is that he never seems to listen to it, and I'm struggling to follow through.
After setting a boundary, how do I follow through when my friend continues to behave in a way that's not okay? Preferably, I'd like to do this without damaging my relationship with this person and looking like a jerk in the process.