My friend has been experiencing some health issues lately which might be quite serious. However, he doesn't want me to inquire, tells me to forget about it, and my best guess is he doesn't want pity for his situation. At the same time, he sounds so stressed that I find it hard to do nothing. Part of me wants to respect his wishes because he is an adult who is not required to share everything with me, and maybe talking about this will increase his stress. The other part feels that maybe leaving him alone right now is being irresponsible.
We are good friends, who both recently moved, so he lives in a different city to me. We usually communicate via messaging. The move was recent so I at least have not had time to build up a good support network in my new environment.
I have some options:
- Give him space, let him know he can reach out to me whenever he is ready
- Force contact (if so, how?)
- Talk to him about other things (via messaging? ask to Skype?)
- Talk to him about what is happening with him
- Visit him
(I left the options up there as some answers already refer to them, but am no longer asking for which option to take)
My goal is to keep our relationship going, so that he has someone to talk to should he want to. But how can I communicate that I both respect him and do not pity him, and that I care deeply about his wellbeing? I want to acknowledge the situation, rather than pretend nothing happened and just send trifling messages.