I have a roommate I allowed to sublet with me. I have allowed their SO to move in with them. Currently I'm not receiving rent from the roommate, and that's an entirely different problem of my own creation, because I had them leave their previous job for an opportunity we ended up getting left hanging on. But I felt the lack of rent paying was important to bring up to explain the circumstances here.
I have been covering the rent, and I told them to not stress out over it. I did not tell them it was okay to not pay rent, but rather to not stress if they were short. We have been waiting on roommate to get work from the person we invested in. SO has gotten 3 jobs and quit every one of them in less than a week during this time. They never tell me when they quit a job, only when SO gets a new one.
SO gets envious of my employees, because I pay other people to do work that SO feels capable of doing, but never actually does. I've given SO chances to work for me in the past to earn cash, and jobs have been unfinished. This has lead to tension in the household, where I never see roommate unless its with his SO. I feel taken advantage of by the SO, and not the roommate.
How do I talk to the roommate about this? I have anxiety when I think about handling the situation. I'm unhappy that SO has left multiple jobs without making enough money to pay me back. SO has told me in the past when I asked for some rent money, that I told them not to worry about it. This is where I feel SO is being manipulative.
SO has admitted to me in the past that they will cause a scene to get what they want in situations. I feel that they are doing this to me. My anxiety is causing me to not know how to handle this discussion.
I have only about a month or two more of this before I have to ask you guys about kicking them out while retaining friendship. But for now, how do I discuss this problem with roommate without SO freaking out? When I have tried to handle things in the past, it has resulted in SO throwing a tantrum and not acting like an adult. This triggers my anxiety.
Edit from comments
- I have two tenants, we shall call them "roommate" and "SO"
- Roommate is unemployed due to a fault of both of ours, so I am covering rent until the job opportunity we pursued together pulls through for them
- Roommate is kind and respective, and I allowed their SO to move in
- SO started off respectful, but is now rude, demanding, and makes me uncomfortable in my own home
- SO is also unemployed, and when I gave SO opportunities to work for me in the past, SO never completed their work
- I would like to approach roommate and find a way to settle the issue (be it by reinstating rent, asking SO to move out, having SO fix their attitude issues, or another resolution) before I damage our friendship beyond repair