Non-Violent Communication seems to be a common piece of advice when it comes to conflict resolution. So far as I understand, NVC promotes the use of "I-statements": saying things like,
I feel X when you Y
You made me X!
This sounds great in theory: you only talk about things you can know for sure - how you feel - and the other person can't argue because they're your feelings.
What if that doesn't work?
I mean situations like:
the other person "sees through" the I-statement and interprets it as the second anyways
A: I felt scared to tell you [serious, personal thing]
B: You think I'm a judgmental person?!
the other person says you shouldn't feel that way
A: I feel uncomfortable being around my ex
B: That's ridiculous, you're dating someone else so you shouldn't care
the other person dismisses your feelings
A: I felt really hurt when you did that
B: Why should everyone cater to your feelings?
(Examples are paraphrased from actual conversations where we were attempting to reach an understanding or resolve a conflict - for instance, the second conversation occurred when I tried to decline an invitation to a party. They are meant to illustrate situations where I was attempting to follow principles of NVC, but the other person responded with invalidation or hostility, rather than empathy and collaboration, which is what I was hoping for.)
Written out, it seems easy to rebut the statements logically, but keep in mind these are conversations about topics with strong emotions involved. Seeing as though humans are not logical machines, it makes sense that not everyone will respond as you hope to "I feel" statements. I know simply phrasing things a certain way is not a magic bullet, but as I am trying to improve my conflict resolution skills it's helpful to have rules to keep myself in line. My hope is that by forcing myself to stick to these guidelines, I will eventually internalize the philosophy.
So, I would like to know how non-violent communication can be used to defuse such responses. Most posts I see simply advise on the initial phrasing but don't discuss following up to a negative response.
What is the next step in this communication strategy when "I feel" statements fail, if any?
(Please note, I am interested in the "theory" of non-violent communication more than solutions to these particular examples, although I can add more context if necessary.)