My ex-girlfriend and I have been separated for months, and she still has some of my personal stuff. As our relation ended in a bad manner we don't speak a lot to each other. She said at multiple times that she will send me back my stuff, but she never did.

It's hard and painful to simply discuss and listen to each other, so asking again for my stuff is even harder... Plus she is so broke than she can't even afford to send back my stuff. I told her that I can send her money so she will be able to send back my stuff, but she didn't even go to the postal office (which is a 5 min walk from her house) to tell me how much it will cost. She lives 600 kilometers away so I can't go get back my stuff myself.

How can I ask again for my stuff to make her actually do something about it?

  • 2
    How important or valuable is this stuff? Is it replaceable? Apr 28, 2018 at 1:52
  • 2
    @DaveG My personal stuff were sunglasses adapted to my eye vision, so only me can use them, and the second thing was my wii U power adaptater. So it's really personnal stuff, that i need and belong to me. I didn't manage to get them back.
    – Med
    Sep 8, 2018 at 16:16
  • @Med that's what I was assuming... that it wasn't generic "stuff" but your personal stuff. Sorry you didn't get them back.
    – DaveG
    Sep 8, 2018 at 16:45

2 Answers 2


You really have one of two choices in this matter.

The first would be to count your items as a loss. You can always get more stuff. It may be likely that she has tossed your stuff in the trash, so you really don't have any other options. Move on with your life and be done.

The second would be to ask a friend of hers to retrieve your stuff. That friend would not be all that attached emotionally and stands a better chance of going through the tedious process of gathering, packing, and shipping your items.

  • 2 months ago she still had my stuff, I like the idea of asking to a mutual friend, I din't think about it.
    – Med
    Apr 27, 2018 at 13:30
  • 2
    @Med I think it's probable that she trashed your stuff and now is avoiding and dismissing you because of that. Quick way to know it is to message her: "Hey, a friend of mine will get my stuff from your place. When can he drop in?" - even if you haven't contacted any friend yet. If she gives you a date or asks who is it, then answer: "I'll let you know when I confirm". This way you'll make it more efficiently in the case of trashing and with almost the same efficiency in the other case.
    – Ctrl-C
    Apr 27, 2018 at 13:35

Your ex probably threw your stuff to the trash, or simply does not want to bother with it, and she just says yes without meaning it.

If you can get someone to check, it maybe worth it.

Be wary that depending on local laws, after some reasonable time without it being picked up, it becomes her property. I would ask someone quickly to check it out.

P.S. I also had once a bad breakup, and while my ex told me she mailed me back a small Apple adapter that costed 80USD several times, it never arrived.

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service and acknowledge you have read our privacy policy.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.