Growing up, we always had family dinners to celebrate birthdays and similar events like Mother's Day, Father's Day, and some other things that are personal to our family. These traditions have been continued in the years since I've moved out, with the addition of Christmas, Thanksgiving and New Years all as times I, and other siblings, are expected to go back to our parent's house. Given the size of the family, the number of birthdays, and the other miscellaneous events, this totals to 13-15 times a year.
My youngest siblings are still at home, though the majority of us have moved out. And at this point, I don't see a reason to reconvene so often as a whole family, especially since we don't all live in the same city any more (college and work for us older ones). Frankly, its exhausting and I'd rather see the family shift to 3-4 quality things a year (which I assumed would happen naturally, but its not), rather then try to continue doing all of the 13-15 we did growing up.
So I've decided that I, at least, will cut back on these events. How can I convince my parents that I won't be coming to every single dinner any more, and how can I do it without causing hard feelings? My mother doesn't do well with conflict or rejection and would probably take it personally. My father would understand, but try to convince me to continue on for my mother's sake. I'm not afraid to say "no", but I'm worried if it gets to that point, there will be hard feelings.