We have a new colleague. He comes from another region (same country: Germany) and is rather outgoing: He talks a lot (sometimes too much), is generally very friendly and is rather cheerful. He moved here, which means he has (to my knowledge), no social contacts here besides us.
The problem is: Everyone is annoyed by him. Whenever somebody talks about their weekend plans he immediately (and clumsily) asks if he can tag along, even though we have only known him for such a short time (few months). He does this so often, that people are more careful now when they say what they are doing in their free time. It is also painful to see all the rejections he gets (because he is asking so often) and the awkwardness that ensues.
I like him, but I do not want to hang out with him all the time. We did something once and it was fine. But I get why people are annoyed. I considered taking him aside and hinting at him that people do not enjoy being pressured into activities with him. People around here are just a bit more.. mellow, I guess? He is just so damn cheerful and enthusiastic that he annoys people. It surely is a hard situation for him, coming from a different region and settling into a group of people who know each other reasonably well and who also do stuff together in their free time. He seriously needs to step on the brakes, though.
For reference: We are all mid-20s or early 30s and work in a very small (<20 people) place. Most of us have nothing to do with him at work (most of us work independently) and social interaction is mostly during breaks, which we all have together.
How do I approach him about his aggressive friend-seeking behavior? I would probably say something like
Listen, Joe. You know that I get along with you quite well. But between us, I've heard colleagues complain about you asking about taking part in their activities all the time. In your region, people might be more outgoing, but around here people need some time to get acquainted. Maybe you should try to let things evolve more naturally.
I really do not want this to backfire in any way. From all the people here, I probably have the best position to tell him, as we talked the most. If I screw this up, I might hurt his feelings. I really just want him to be part of our group.
Before he joined us, we sometimes organized small team events (bowling etc), maybe doing that will help people get to know him better? But he might also take this as another opportunity to (unknowingly) annoy people even more.
I will probably do stuff with him in the future, but I don't want to be the only guy in the office he can hang around with. If he just were a little less intrusive, everybody would get along better.