So my girlfriend is a feminist and I love her, she has feminist friends too and their reunions are as regular and fun as you would expect.
But I can't help to overhear some stuff that not only annoys me but truly hurts, like:
Oh yeah, women don't need men, totally, the human species don't need men now that we have artificial insemination.
I don't want her to ditch any of her friends but she could be more supportive of the value of men to society, or to life in general for that matter.
I also don't want to change her, she's already a smart, sensitive person but a smart, sensitive person can only deal with issues in a smart, sensitive way if they're able to recognize there even is an issue.
I haven't tried anything as of yet because the situation had not presented itself and my girlfriend has never made such type of comments herself. Overhearing was not intended. I don't want her to feel as if I'm blaming her for her friend's opinions, but her silence disappointed me a bit because it made it appear as if she agrees or finds it funny even when I think she doesn't, her silence allowed this person's opinion to seem like the strongest opinion in the room because no one objected.
About the person who made the comment, my girlfriend usually just says:
She's a bit extreme.
And it seems she just accepts that because she's close friends with the group leader whom is also an older friend of my girlfriend.
I've done some research and that is not being "extreme", there's a word for that and it is called 'misandrism', which is not an insult.
I don't want to sound irrational or insensitive while I convey this is a very real concern that hurts me.
I'm relatively new in her life in comparison with a couple of the women of the group and I think she respects my points of view regarding many topics including feminism, but I still worry she'll take my observation as an anti-feminist remark because it has happened elsewhere with other people.
I just want her to be supportive of the value of men when there are no men present in the room.
How can I have a conversation with my girlfriend where I am able to share my concerns with her in a way she will understand why I think this is a problem and encourage her to stick up for men when she's around friends who say dismissive or hateful things about men in general?
Note: On why some of the answers offered are not nearly close to be accepted.
Some suggest I go for the passive indirect approach of simply being a good example: I myself defend the value of women in front of a bunch of guys no matter how tough or stubborn they are. My girlfriend already consider me a great example.
Some suggest I should be better informed on how women have it worse and more difficult than men: I am very well informed, my girlfriend knows.
I don't want her to start "not all men"ing. I want her to intervene with her own sensitivity to keep hateful ideas at bay. And I can't be putting words in her mouth, she will say whatever she thinks it is intelligent and sensitive to say.
A valid answer would be similar to the one that offered a structured way on how to aim at the actual objective. That answer recommends I should set the tone by putting my insecurities on the table first and after covering that in general to strengthen our bond, then is offering some lines I could use to address the specific situation that I find in need of intervention. I've been considering accepting that answer, but it's still falling short and stopping at a warning that I might not be able to have a desired result. The only thing missing in that answer is how to encourage my girlfriend to make a positive change or influence their group, that's in the scenario in which she only needs some courage reinforcement and support from me. (Note that initially I didn't use the "encourage my girlfriend" phrase in the question title, that was edited by a moderator and it did help me to understand a little more on how to approach the situation, so thank you for that.)
We're Westerners, North American.