It's been a long time since I have been in touch with my group of friends. I had been very busy for a couple of years due to my academic commitments, and could not keep in touch with my friends. I now wish to revive our bondings and again bring our memories fresh. Basically we don’t live far away from each other, though we live considerable blocks away.

We are all in our late-teens, early-twenties.. And due to my commitments I had no time at all to meet anybody from the group. We are all connected through social media with each other and have groups in common.

I want to know a way in which I can plan a meet up and make everyone join. So basically I would want everyone to join at least - for old time’s sake ;) so how do I approach my group in a way that no one has any invalid reason to say a no (upto a point if they are interested and I believe they are).

So what is the best way by which I plan this meet up?

  • 3
    Looking at the edit history, there was some context about your relationship with these friends that I think would make a serious difference for anyone trying to answer your question. Specifically about your feelings on how some of these friends manipulated the others and tried to isolate you. If you could include this information then the answers will be more helpful to your actual situation.
    – Jesse
    May 8, 2018 at 7:43

2 Answers 2


Recently, I contacted someone I lost touch with about 5 years ago.

It was really awkward.

I didn't have this phone number, so I wrote an email. First, I apologized for losing touch over the years. Even though I know that my friend was never the initiator of plans (going out for drinks, movie etc.), I took it on me, because I know it was my "responsibility". Secondly, I told them that I hope that there isn't any bad blood (we never had an argument, actually) and that there should be no reason keeping us from catching up again. Then, I proposed meeting on "neutral ground" for a coffee. That way, if things got really awkward for anyone, they could easily excuse themselves.

The answer was surprising and relieving: They were really glad I contacted them.

We met up since then and it was nice. I think we were both happy to see each other. We still had a lot of interests in common and had plenty to talk. This also gave us the opportunity to talk about what happened in the last years.

TL;DR: Contact them. Be defensive (don't blame anyone for losing touch) and remind them of your good times. The first step is hard, but in the end you'll know what's up.

Edit: I kind of forget to talk about the "manipulator" aspect of the question. As I said, don't blame anyone. You can say people were involved in the reasons why you lost touch, but ultimately it will sound better if you take some blame upon yourself (even if, in your eyes, you are not to blame). If your friends know that you were not to blame, they will admire your humbleness.

  • Hello. Just a heads up: The question has been closed, substantially edited and reopened. You might want to check your answer to see if it still stands or needs some editing.
    – Tinkeringbell
    May 8, 2018 at 6:24

Focus on the things that made you close to your friends in the first place, did you approach someone because he used to wear t-shirts with movie characters? Organize a movie night. Did you get closer to them because you shared music taste? Go to a concert and grab a beer together afterwards.

Remember the good times and bring them in to the present, so your friendship will still be relevant today.

IMHO, you should not give too much attention to what those manipulators did now that it is obvious they failed. They don't ever deserve the attention.

If it turns out to be absolutely necessary, because for example, some of your friends still have a wrong idea about you, the best strategy is to undermine the saboteur's credibility with whatever evidence you possess or with support by any of your friends who is aware of the plots that were set in motion against you. Now that those guys are out, your friends will prefer to believe you.

If you don't have evidence, you will first need to work on moral support by someone who's got credibility inside the group. Once you have a top notch guy on your side, and you have the truth on your side, nothing can beat you.

  • Great way of recovering the old memories :) However I think its not clear that the game these manipulators tried to play is clear to only me as of yet, my group is unaware about this, so also I wanted to know a way in which I unfold their true faces in front of everyone, yes do not deserve attention but, how do I others know this too?
    – user377340
    May 7, 2018 at 5:17
  • I see, perhaps you should post 2 different questions? hmm not sure about that
    – J A
    May 7, 2018 at 5:19
  • Good to get your opinions bruh! Anyways lets see what other experts got to say :)
    – user377340
    May 7, 2018 at 5:23
  • I have some evidences in form of chats with those manipulators, but how do I bring it out to my friends? Regarding your second advice the top notch guy of the group is no one else but me, but due to the gap years the ones who somewhere were jealous of me (the manipulators) tried to play their games to have my place and perhaps to isolate me..
    – user377340
    May 7, 2018 at 5:47
  • First step, recover the bond, strengthen your friendship. Second step show the evidence when it is good timing. Your own friends will give you a cue and you will know it is good timing when they themselves express their dissatisfaction with those other manipulative guys.
    – J A
    May 7, 2018 at 5:52

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