For perspective, I'm a young man and I don't live with my parents nor am I dependent on them in any way. Recently, I've started to grow an interest in learning to ride a motorcycle. My dad has been riding since he was very young.
Despite my dad's lifelong hobby, my mother has never been approving. From what I can tell, she tolerate's my dad's hobby. Interestingly, she has allowed me to ride with him as a child.
However, she has been strongly against any ideas that I get into such a hobby. This is not new behavior when it comes to my physical risk, however, she understands very much her leverage as a parent and mine as a human, so I was rarely forbidden from having risky hobbies, just heavily discouraged.
The situation I'm in now is that I want my dad to help me learn to ride, and he wants to give me his motorcycle as he is physically unable to ride anymore (due to age). My dad is unwilling to do these things without my mother's approval and insists I be the one to negotiate it (which is fair).
To put it simply, my risk tolerance for myself is much higher than my mother's (probably not an uncommon thing for mothers and sons).
Without arguing or escalating a conflict, how do I convey that it is more beneficial that she help me pursue this hobby even though she is adamant on wanting me not to do so?
- It's fairly likely I'll pursue this hobby either way, eventually. This will disappoint my dad because he doesn't want me riding without his guidance. And of course my mother will be just as unhappy.
- It would be much safer, cheaper, and beneficial if I had the support of my parents.
- I am taking this hobby, as well as safety, very seriously.
- I don't see my parents in person much due to location. Our time to talk in person would be limited to a day or two.
- I do not want this to cause conflict between my parents, meaning I want my mother to not fault my dad for teaching me and helping.
- Really, I'm looking to explore motorcycle riding as a potential hobby.
- If it were up to my dad, I would have been taught a long time ago.
- My goal is for my mother to at least end up wanting to work with me, instead of against me, to help keep me safe. After all, it's safest to simply never walk the uncharted path, but the second-best option is to walk it with others.