I'm 24 years old (woman), pursuing my master's degree, with 2 part-time jobs and in a relationship since 1 year ago.
Since I was a child my mom has been controlling me, I have never thought that was a problem until my last teenager years (17-19) when I found I had to think as she does in every facet of my life. To be honest, I started to do unconsciously that in my childhood to the point I hadn't my own opinion in anything, I just said what my mom did. Even I felt guilty of thoughts I had but my mom wouldn't. So I repressed my own feelings and thoughts because that could make her feel bad or angry.
She has always made me feel bad and insecure: I was too thin, I am too fat. Apparently she likes to humiliate me and my brother about whatever, and her pretext is that she wants the best for us. She thinks she is always right, and that when she isn't she says we should act as she is right.
When I started to date with guys she went crazy, she cried in order to make sure I break up with every boyfriend I had because I was abandoning her. Since I always try to be pleasant with my mom, I attended to all her requirements, so the longest period I have been with a guy was 4 months, and every time I have been with someone has been the worst of my life.
Having feelings for someone is seen as a shame. So I can't tell her if I am in love with someone because she is going to embarrass me and laught.
Now, I found a guy I am in love with. But since I started dating him, she has started to make all the drama, but now it's even worse. She takes my phone and she refuses to give my phone back until hours later. She did that when I was a teen, I understood I was an under age but I am 24 now. I bought that phone with the money I make. Also she has started to punish me without going out because of:
- Not doing the dishes as she wants: first I should clean the cutlery and then the rest.
- Forgetting to put the iron in its place.
- And so on.
I could have done something 'bad' 3 days ago, but until the same day I am going to see my boyfriend she doesn't punish me. And since my boyfriend lives far and we can see each other once a week, I have to call him to cancel our plans. There is no way I can disobey her because if I have the idea of going out anyway, I won't live at home anymore.
She doesn't allow me to have sex. She thinks I don't know what birth control is, I am going to get pregnant and I don't know how to have sex (she laughs everytime she says that). I would like to tell her I am not a virgin but I don't want to take the risk. Everytime I wax my body she gets angry and starts asking me why I do that. Also she says I am a tissue so when my boyfriend have sex with me (a virgin) for the first time, he would leave me.
She says I have got the jobs because of her therefore the money I make is hers. I am inferior to her and her property, as well.
I don't make enough money to move out. So it's not an option. What I am doing is spend the less and less time with her, and when I do I try to tell her I am an adult, but 'I live in her house, so I have to obey her rules'.
P.S: Sorry if my English is not good enough and if I have some grammatical mistakes or the text is not clearly defined.