I have this workmate for almost 2-months now, who is an all-out person. I mean, she's not afraid to tell any of her feelings towards another person. Now, she told me she likes me. I told her, which I usually don't do because I'm an introvert, that I like her too but added to her that maybe I just got infatuated. Yesterday, we hanged out (her treat and I'm not used to it, I'm feelin like a beta) and made few talks about each other. We're both unfortunate with our past. She always tell me things I like to hear, like she's the person I'm hoping and wishing to be with.
Honestly, I really like to be in a relationship with her, but also don't want to for some few reasons. For sure my parents will not allow it if I insist. I like her but I don't want to let it go further. It will just hurt both of us.
I already told her before that I'm not yet into a serious relationship and I never told her anything that is sure about my feelings toward her. I just said that maybe this is just infatuation. She's not stopping despite of that.
So how can I be more assertive when telling her that a serious relationship is not an option?
I don't want her to get hurt, but I need to end it now, I just don't know how. I would love to stay friends with her
Thank you @Federico and @JonahBenton for the answers and everyone in the comment box. Here are the answers to the questions you guys left to me.
Just for clarification, are the three sentences starting with " For sure .." to ".. hurt me and her." three separate reasons or or is it a sequence as in "My parents will not allow it. Because of that I don't want to let it get further. I fear that this situation will both hurt me and her if it were to go further."?
Yes, a sequence.
Has she actually said that she wants a relationship with you, or are you just interpreting that from other things she said/did? If it's the latter, what things?
She didn't actually said that but by the way she told me things like "I love you. If you will have your own company soon, please hire me. Only me. And make me your wife. Blah blah blah" and "What do you want? Just tell me, I'll give it to you. You know I'm willing to do these things, again, to you. I like you. (She means that she's willing to do again the good stuffs she had done with her ex)", I guess she wants to be in a relationship with me. Or maybe I'm just assuming?
"her treat and I'm not used to it, I'm feelin like a beta". What does the word beta refer to here?
I mean beta, as someone who is more dependent in a relationship. She acts as the alpha and she likes to control me.
Can you add a culture or location tag? There are many cultural and possibly legal issues to workplace romance that vary across cultures and countries.
Hmm. That's a thing I don't like to disclose. We're both asian with religious parents.
And here's what I did last night.
I texted here because I have a confession and I want to talk about it personally but she insisted me to tell right now so I told her everything.
I told her that I like her but to be in a relationship is a no. I told her my reason that it is because my parents. I told her what happened to me before to just emphasize my point, that what is happening between us will not work just like what happened to me before. She misinterpreted it at first but finally understand after some few chats.
She accepted my rejection but said anyway that we can just let these feelings be felt. She said that she will still do things for me, things will never change tomorrow. And this "tomorrow" is now. A little awkward is present between us but her treatment is still the same.
Well, I agreed with her, to just let these feelings to be felt but I keep remembering her that there's no future for us. Yes, it had hurt her last night but it's the best I can do.