I do not feel good whenever I have strained a friendship, or any interpersonal relationship, and can find no recourse to mend the friction. The main reason being (and it is admitedly selfish), I want the most recent memory of me in someone else to be a positive one not a negative one.
One such example was this person I was in a religious club with for four years. The majority of our interactions were within this club. She was a very good logistical manager and was generally positive to people, even if it meant overlooking other issues that were always blaringly obvious to me. I was on setup crew. I was (and still have vestiges of), for lack of a better term, a nit picky prick and always aimed to ensure things were done well. I manifested this abrasive behavior in the form of
is this taken care of?
do you have this down? and asking relatively ancillary questions which (as I understand now) would drive many people insane. It almost seemed like she was starting to develop a shield around me, as we it almost became impossible to carry on a conversation outside of the club. Another factor was that before my current girlfriend, I had a crush on her was relatively forward about asking for a coffee date, and posted on a "crushes" page (which was meant to be a joke page) about her. She then rejected me over FB messenger (unrelated, but more details don't necessarily hurt) and completely ceased communication outside of the context of the club. Throughout the whole four years I was still very focused on logistical details of the club and (maybe because of projecting stress on to "whoever is in charge") the abrasive behavior continued.
Every now and then she comes back for several events in which the club is gathered, the most recent of which was College Graduation. The whole "invisible wall" thing is still present and I can't even get a hi response. She went up and said hi and hugged a friend (who was also my friend) right next to me, but then treated me as if I didn't exist. In the grand scheme of things the whole matter probably doesn't mean much, but I personally don't like "leaving a bad taste in someone else's mouth".
My main goal is to relieve her of the negative feelings she has when we meet. We don't really need to become friends, Just no longer "enemies". I'm looking for a way to convey to her that she no longer needs to put up a barrier between us.