Backstory: About 2 years ago I became close online friends with someone over Steam and Discord.

Recently (4 days ago) we got into a disagreement; I overreacted and he responded by blocking me on Steam. I sent an apology to him via Discord, including asking him not to block me on there so we could talk about what happened, but this was met with being blocked on Discord as well.

Personally, I take responsibility for this, and I feel both guilty and anxious about it. I'm really scared that he plans to keep me blocked for good. I've been told that waiting is the best thing to do right now but I'm tempted to ask a friend of his to ask him how he's doing and if he plans to talk again sometime soon, or maybe send an email asking these things.

How exactly can I approach him when I reach out (seeing that the initial apology completely backfired)? I fear that when I try to contact him again, he will completely and permanently shut me out of his life. Therefore I am searching for ways to apologize to him where the chances are highest for him to accept my apology, since it might be my last chance to contact him.

The solution can be about contacting him directly, or via his friend.

  • 2
    Hi Gizmo and welcome to IPS. Can you please edit your first draft and include a question that is actually "worded", and clear enough? As it stands, it rather unclear (to me, at least). Thanks
    – OldPadawan
    May 28 '18 at 18:19
  • 1
    See updated answer after your update May 28 '18 at 19:11
  • 3
    Your question is collecting close-votes. I suspect it is because your question appeared to be a should-I question, when in fact it was just unfortunate wording. So I edited your question accordingly, and I also stated your goals clearer, as I understood them. If you do not approve of my edit, feel free to roll back to your version.
    – kscherrer
    May 29 '18 at 9:17
  • I think it would be pretty helpful if you could include the message your wrote to apologize. May 29 '18 at 11:21

The best thing when you argue with someone is to apologize, like you did.

It happens to everyone to overreact sometimes and thus you should not feel anxious about it. Since you two know each other very well, he might understand that you did not mean the words you said and finally forgive you.

For now he is in control, and if he blocked you it's either to give you a lesson or because he wanted calm himself first before talking to you.

The best thing now is to wait for him to digest the argument and accept your apologies. Depending on how far your crossed the line and who your friend is, it might take some time.

I know it can be very frustrating to be unable to talk to someone and explain yourself, but try to tell yourself it is part of your apologies to give him a little bit of space.

I've already been in the exact same situation as you and the only time I could not fix my friendship is because I lost my calm due to the frustration of being blocked too long. So you get it, my advice is the same as your surrounding : now that you apologized, patience is key. Keep also in mind that the unblock button is as easy to press as the block button.

If you still don't have any news after a week, then you could try to reach one of his friends. My approach then would be to try to take the heat out by simply saying hi and say that you hope he’s doing good. Doing so will give him an opening to burry the hatchet without any pressure from your part.

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