I am in a long distance relationship, it is happy and there is a lot of love there, I am very grateful for that, I do have a small problem and am looking for any advice on what to do.

Her and I have been together for 6 months officially (one year unofficial but exclusive) and have never gone more than two weeks without seeing one another, except for this last time, which has been a month.

We do have plans to meet up in another city in two weeks from now, however, I have recently hit a sprout of depression and am really in need of a friend (I live in a city where I do not know anybody and am still new here)

I reached out to my significant other telling her that I really need a connection and think I should visit early (This weekend) for a bit and just have a good time to recharge and feel connected.

She told me she is willing to wait the two weeks, but will support me if I need to come and visit (She is amazing like this)

My question here is this... It is really hard being in a LDR and I know it feels good to fill your tank with some love, especially when you need it the most... I.E in my depression at the moment.

But would it be a good idea to go and visit? It would be selfish because I would be asking her to comfort me, when maybe she doesn't know how to, and then having me there may make her feel pressure to "fix" the problem...

Or should I hold out for the two weeks until we meet at an airport in a new country?

  • 2
    Hi, and welcome. As it stands, your question doesn't fit the requirements of this stack. "Should I" question are off-topic, and will attract downvotes and close votes. Do you mind editing? (maybe taking the tour could help you too?). Thanks.
    – OldPadawan
    May 30, 2018 at 8:10
  • Hi there. In which country are you currently? There are resources in nearly every country to help you cope with such trouble and it would be glad if we could orientate you towards those of the place you're living in. I would like you to know that it can get better, I've been there myself (both in LDR and depression actually), and such resources can really make a difference.
    – avazula
    May 30, 2018 at 9:21

1 Answer 1


Just like you, I am in a long distance relationship with my SO, usually, we meet every month, or every two months depending on our schedule.

While I am able to wait that long, I know it is not easy for my SO, and, she sometimes needs to be reassured, or comforted, I also know I am not the best in that regard. But I love her, and when she is sad, or lonely, I want to be here for her.

Would it be selfish to visit early ? Maybe, but you also have the right to be selfish when in a relationship, since your SO told you she was willing to support you if you needed to visit early, I think it would'nt be a problem.

You are afraid that, by going there, you will pressure her in fixing a problem, I think that, if you decide to visit her, you should do it with another frame of mind. You are not going to visit to fix anything, you are going to visit her to spend time with her.

So my answer to my question, based on my experience, would be : Since your SO told you that she was fine with you visiting, you should not worry about it too much, as long as you go there to enjoy your time with her.

If you only think of going there to fix your depression, then I would suggest seeking proffessional help instead.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.