I'm sorry this is long but I figured some back story was needed as it’s a bit of a complex situation.
I’ve been friends with someone for 7 or so years now. We became fairly inseparable rather quickly after meeting. We're both equally socially awkward females that shared very common interests and then cultivated new interests together pretty consistently throughout the years. We're both mid-twenties and work together. We've taken a few trips together over the years and we have another one coming up in roughly a month.
So... here is the issue:
I feel like we've drifted apart, though... I may be the only one that feels this as I actually think she's ceased caring about much at all to do with me. Months ago I stopped trying to arrange plans for us to socialise on the weekends or after work, since I was getting the feeling that hanging out with me was becoming almost a chore for her. Indeed she would often cancel plans stating a lack of motivation or simply the fact that she felt like she had a busy weekend (spending time with her family) and wanted to stay at home. It's come to a stage where I feel she's more sociable with co-workers than she is with me some weeks. Lo and behold, we have not really had a social outing together as we used to (shopping, having a meal at a restaurant, etc) since I stopped initiating them. I make vague non-committal suggestions about movies showing or how long it's been since we've been to this restaurant or that but... she doesn't "bite the bait". I truly don't think she's interested and I've faced rejection, either directly spoken or inferred, too many times to push the subject any further without hurting myself even more.
Her attitude towards me is such that it reminds me of a yo-yo... one day she'll be the person I have grown accustomed to and can talk to for hours and comfortably spend time with, and the next she'll be someone who ignores my messages, stares at her phone during week-day lunch breaks together and makes no attempt to socialise with me past the bare minimum during working hours. Even our conversations over instant messaging have drastically diminished. Furthermore, whilst some shared interests remain, others have steadily drifted apart, even down to something as inconsequential as music tastes. I will often try to indulge her in new interests... the same courtesy isn't quite afforded to me so I prefer not to discuss my interests with her after one or two times, as a general rule of thumb.
Essentially, whilst I dedicate considerable time thinking about this friendship (truthfully my only close relationship, and hers too, as far as I know), somewhat resentful that we don't socialise like we used to, and wondering about her wellbeing (is it personal struggles of some kind - i.e. depression? - that has so dramatically changed her personality or regard towards me?)... She doesn't seem to share the concern or make any move to act in any way that would redeem recent behaviour.
This decline in "friendship quality", so to speak, began about a year ago after our last big trip together, and yet, because she suggested the trip and destination and I was amiable to it, we still booked another a few months ago - which, as I mentioned above, is coming up in a month or so.
In short, I think it's time to move on, as I'm investing more in this friendship than she is and it's, I think, emotionally damaging to me. There are many many examples of situations and circumstances I could describe but the overall gist is that I feel taken for granted and underappreciated. I'm wasting my time trying to connect with someone who doesn't seem interested, but somehow, in certain capacities (like travelling together for a month to a foreign destination and leaving me to plan the trip that she suggested in its entirety!) still expects some level of loyalty and consideration from me.
Cancelling the trip is not an option and I still very much want to go but... I'm afraid of what attitude I might face during the trip. In our last trip together (a short holiday interstate to a city we have been to many times for shopping and just quick weekend getaways), I felt that within a very short time, her attitude was that of someone who would rather be anywhere else. Petulant and reluctant, often expressing that she'd rather go back to the hotel than explore a new activity. It wasn't a pleasant experience and I'm somewhat fearful that the same might happen on this considerably larger trip.
How would I deal with this? If we find each other disagreeing on the day's activities, or if I want to do something but am getting the "vibe" from her that she would rather not... I don't want that to spoil my enjoyment or make me miss out on experiences that I could have, only because she has fallen into a sullen mood where she spends most of the time looking at her phone looking bored and disinterested in my company, let alone any scenery surrounding us. I'm unsure how to deal with this without causing hostility between us, which would be quite unfortunate when in a foreign country with nothing but ourselves for company!
I'm socially anxious as well, I've had situations in a previous recent small trip where she would refuse to do something as simple as take a photo at a landmark, either with me or even of me, and I lacked the confidence to feel comfortable using my selfie stick or to ask another person. These were isolated incidents, often in heavily crowded attractions (she's not a fan of crowds) but seeing as I never know what attitude to expect from her nowadays... that's a very likely scenario to happen. Personally, I have resigned myself to knowing that I have to build up the courage to get the outcomes I desire in these situations, but I don't want to do it in a way in which my frustration or unhappiness will be apparent to her, so as to not create animosity.
Basically I feel like I’m between a rock and a hard place. I want to enjoy my trip but am going to be travelling with someone I don't feel I can necessarily rely on or draw any enjoyment from - in fact, there's the possibility she could taint certain aspects of it. How do I navigate this diplomatically so as to step on no toes, or the least amount of toes? I want to look forward to this trip but the uncertainty of our relationship is causing me anxiety instead.
I just wasn't sure how to summarize this, sorry. But let's try: Was very close friends with someone for the better part of 7 years. We've been drifting apart for the last year or so as she makes me feel underappreciated, taken for granted and sometimes even like a nuisance. I want to cut ties to being only coworkers but we have a trip coming up. Since she has exhibited untoward behaviour in previous trips together (plus her overall attitude lately), I am feeling anxious about the possibility of this trip being ruined by her. Cancelling is not an option.
How would I negotiate the situation when she is acting sullen and uninterested in our activities or is exhibiting an attitude that is sullying the mood? I don't want to miss out on opportunities or experiences but also don't want to antagonize her or create an even more uncomfortable situation...