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In the past I was invited to a game of truth or dare, where you need to either answer a question truthfully, or perform a "dare", both of which are set by other players. I was selected first, and as I did not know almost anybody there, I asked this girl what was her best friend. Then everbody laughed, as this question was too soft, and the goal was to ask more spicy questions. I was embarassed at this.

Then months later I was invited to another game with a totally different group. I thought I was prepared, so I asked to this girl I didn't know what was the color of her nipples. At this, she became extremely embarassed, and so did I. Apparently this was too much personal, or the group was expecting less naughty questions. I really don't know.

My question is: how can I participate in this kind of game, without embarassing myself or others?

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I'd take my cue from the other players.

If you have to go first, ask something that's mildly embarassing but has no intimate sexual context. I guess much depends on how old you are. You can use yourself as a test subject to vet possible questions. Asking a girl about her nipples is probably off limits when you consider that you likely wouldn't want a girl to ask about the size of your penis [assuming you're male], but being asked about your best friend wouldn't even cause you any discomfort, because that's something lots of people already know about you, and it usually isn't something you're not comfortable telling others about.

So pick a question that you wouldn't usually want to answer, but that didn't seriously compromise you if you did answer it. Questions about social faux-pas, somewhat embarassing blunders or love interests etc might work.

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