My girlfriend and I are dating for about 6 months now. We recently started talking about moving together. I really adore my girlfriend, but there are some patterns in her behavior (mostly related to money) that raise some yellow flags in me. I'm not sure if it's a problem more related to me or her.
- she sometimes makes comments that I should have paid something for her (e.g. for her flight tickets when we went on a vacation)
- she sometimes makes comments like "(her friend) Alice's boyfriend is really nice. He owns a sports car and two flats in the city centre. He is a great guy."
- she recently inquired about my salary ("she shares information about salary with her friends, no reason she shouldn't know mine") and after I told her, she followed by "With your education/experience, you should earn more. You should do something about it." (this is possibly true)
Comments like these make me feel like I should spend/earn more to be worthy of her. I'm generally a modest person, especially when single and in everyday life (e.g. rarely eating out, no fancy car, etc. But I don't mind to spend money, say, on travelling). We go out for a dinner / drinks / movies occasionally, and I usually cover the bill. I have no problem with and would like to share all or most our resources (money etc.) with my partner when we get married, have kids, or after we live together for a few years. However, I don't feel comfortable doing it (sharing or covering her regular expenses) after 6 months of relationship, even more so due to her occasional comments.
I earn about 50% more than my gf. But even if this reversed, I don't think I would change my behavior.
How can I communicate to her that I don't feel ready to share everything in this stage of relationship? Telling her something like "I don't want to pay more things for you because I don't think we are far enough in our relationship" feels quite blunt and stupid.
We both work full time. We are in our late 20s, and we live in Central Europe.
The issue is that my girlfriend seems to have a different view about who should cover some of our expenses (at least in the current stage of our relationship). I would like to deal with this difference in a non destructive manner. I'm not sure if her different view is caused more by the fact that I earn more or by her view on gender roles.
My feelings about her comments are secondary issue. The bad feelings may cease when our difference is dealt with somehow.