I have a tendency to consider incidents that happened in the past as "Let bygones be bygones." And I try to move on. But, when the opposite person involved in the incident doesn't seem to think on the same lines, a kind of unpleasant friction arises between us. This becomes very awkward, especially so when we face each other after quite a few years. Clearly, they have not moved on and still want to indulge in something that would boost their ego. But, I have clearly forgotten about such incidents.
The incidents could be anything related to teasing each other, making fun of them which they could or couldn't reciprocate or just anything.
Recently, I have witnessed one such person. When I met that person, I was very normal but s/he was not and said something demeaning to me. I was initially taken aback at that and later I understood that making such statements boosted their ego.
And then there was yet another person who was giving me death stares after a good five years.
I was wondering is it really worth to remember every single incident that happened in my life. If I can't, and if I come across such persons, how do I deal with them.
I have a tendency to overlook things, I guess I encounter problems because of this. While I am trying to remember how I am going to interact with people even for the first time, I want to know how to deal with people who surprise me suddenly with their 'ego-boosting' behavior.
Edit: What is it that I want? I do realize that we cannot get along with everyone. I need to develop more awareness about myself with that aspect. As the same time, I understand that my conversations rather diversions from their self-centered discussions was one of the reasons for their nasty behavior even after quite a few years. What I would really like to know is how do I evade these self-centered discussions? There is always one person such person whom I encounter at a professional level or at personal level. It is not always possible to not to be part of their discussion. They could be my peers, my relatives, my seniors or juniors, just any random person.
All I can think of is to keep mum to prevent any unpleasantness at a later point of time/life. Will that be the only step I need to take?
I am adding the context as requested.
Kindly note the person(s) I have mentioned about are very much self-centered. They have the knack to pull people towards them with their persona and mislead them. At the same time, they try to center all the conversations around them, could be their own family members, or their own office related work or their own lifestyle. Anything at all, and it has to be around them.
When I met the person, many years ago, I found the self-centered discussions uninteresting and diverted to various other topics. This person would keep mum, staring nastily at me all the time, because the attention of the group was diverted towards me.
At that moment, I didn't think much about that diversion, but I did realize later that the person's ego was hurt and since s/he couldn't do anything about it, grudge built up. I was cool as a cucumber but s/he wasn't.
There was no bullying involved. It was mostly diverting the discussion from their self-centered ones to a wide range ones. And I did make fun of them too because I was just giving it back.