I've noticed over time that my sister-in-law is very focused on appearances and how everyone looks. I find this to be a very unpleasant/shallow personality trait. In general, I don't really like her and we have personality clashes but this is one concrete thing I don't like.
She has very strong negative emotional reactions to an external visual stimulus such as colours not matching on people's outfits, household decor, vehicles, etc. On the other hand, if she finds something pleasing to the eye she has an equally strong positive reaction. She would be embarrassed to be seen with someone over the smallest fashion transgressions. She feels the need to comment on EVERYTHING. If she's in someone's house and she doesn't like the decor she'll tell you all about the awful furniture the moment she leaves the house. She grimaces, contorts and gossips about it.
Here are 2 examples applicable to me:
One time I wasn't planning on going anywhere that day so I wore whatever I could find that day and I ended up with a green jacket and a bright pink purse. I don't really like the purse too much but someone gave it to me as a gift so I feel guilty about throwing it out. When she saw me she had a reaction and grimaced. She called my husband later on and told him that I needed a makeover.
One time she actually liked my makeup and outfit and she acted in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. She was in awe of me and it really creeped me out.
Recently, I bought a new dress for the summer and forgot to cut the tag off. I bumped into her in public.She somehow spotted the tag and picked it off. Later she called my husband and told him that I had embarrassed myself because of the tag. I found this to be strange and I did not think the incident was embarrassing.
Anyways, this is an issue almost every time I see her. It's really bothersome and dramatic. My husband often agrees with her observations so I've got no loyalty on my end. How can I get her to stop making comments and phoning my husband about it?