I lend my friend about 95$. I considered him a relatively close friend. I've always been a little forgetful, so after I lend him the money, it took some time for me to contact him about the exact amout of money he owes me. We recently visited an event where I took pictures with my camera and told him that I'd send the pictures when i get home, this was also the moment where I lend him the money. In the following weeks he told me multiple times to send the pictures and every time I forgot to do so (I understand completely that this is bad and that I should have sended the pictures when he aked me to). I have now asked him multiple times to pay back the money he owes me and yesterday he basically told me that he is not going to give me my money back until i send him the pictures i took.

Now, my problem is not the money, I can live good without it, this is about trust and our friendship. I feel betrayed since I lend him the money in good trust. How can I trust him in the future when he asks for money? I do understand that he wants the pictures, but using the money I lend him as a way of getting the pictures I took feels wrong to me especially since I considered him a friend.

What is the right way to handle the situation?

  • 1
    Hi there! You might want to edit your question because as it is, it is likely to get closed because we're not here to tell you what's the best move you can make (there's no such thing as the right way when it comes to interpersonal skills, IMHO). An idea of editing: How can I ask for my money back without risking my friendship?
    – avazula
    Jul 13, 2018 at 7:36
  • 1
    additionally to what avazula said so well, the question how you can trust him in the future is also not on topic here so you might want to remove that from the question.
    – kscherrer
    Jul 13, 2018 at 7:55

2 Answers 2


Send him the pictures for one simple reason: You promised. Just because your friend is treating them as part of this conflict, doesn't mean you should.

Then sit your friend down and talk it out. There are two subjects here that are both important. First talk about how it made you feel, it is important to work through the emotions so you can talk about the next subject rationally and fairly. Then talk about how the two of you will handle similar situations in the future.

If he paid you back, don't mention the money during this talk. If he hasn't paid you back only talk about it after you get a good method out of the second subject and apply that method here.


Don't lend money to friends

Step 1 is just that. Never lend money to a friend if you can't miss it, because you might not get it back without losing a friendship.

However, that doesn't really help you here.


Just give him the pictures

He wants pictures, you want your money. You do not mention any reason why you can't give him the pictures you took, so just... give him those pictures so he gives you the money back.

It's not "fair", it's not what was agreed upon, but at least you'll have your money. After that, reconsider if you want to remain friends with him, but worry about that -after- you've gotten your money back.

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