I encountered a strange situation with my roommate and I'm not sure if I'm the problem and need to change, or if he is just being unreasonable.
The context is this:
We are living in a house which has 6 people and 3 dogs living in it. There is an upstairs and downstairs which are not connected, with 3 people (all guys in their 20s) living upstairs, and 3 people (all guys, one older man, the rest in their 20s) living downstairs. We have two bathrooms, one with a shower, and one with a tub. The one with a tub get's clogged, especially due to my hair, so I use the shower. All my toiletries are in the bathroom with the shower.
But most importantly, the room with the shower is adjoining with the room he sleeps in. It is connected via a door on both sides, and it is a lot easier for him to walk through the shower room to leave his room, then to get around and use another door. (As a sidenote, he doesn't claim ownership over this shower room, we actually have more rooms than people, and so a few months ago he started sleeping in the extra room, leaving a lot of his stuff in his previous room, and said that it was just temporary and we could of course still use the bathroom adjoining his second room whenever we wanted).
The situation is this:
Today I went on a run at around 7pm, and when I came back I went to the shower room to try to have a shower. But, the door was locked. So I knocked on the door to see if he was in there, but I didn't get a response.
I figured he must be sleeping with ear plugs in, amd I was soaked with sweat from my run and really wanted to shower, so I figured it would be no big deal to knock loud enough to wake him up.
I realize this wasn't a super nice thing, but I figured he wouldn't be too bothered, as it was 7pm, it was a shared shower, and he did really mess up by accidentally locking his roommates out of the shared shower room.
After a few minutes without him waking up I realized the lock was actually one of those that you can open by just using a coin (it didn't have a key, it was just to prevent accidentally walking in on someone in the bathroom), so I unlocked it and had my shower.
Sometime later my roommate confronted me and said it was completely unacceptable for me to wake him up when he was sleeping, just because I wanted to have a shower. I was fairly baffled, as although I know it is annoying to be woken up, I figured he would have instead apologized for locking me out and making it basically impossible for me to shower.
I was also confused as to how my roommate could wake up, and then just ignore me when I was knocking on the door. He said he ignored me because he didn't want me to "get my way" when I was being so rude. Which further confused me as I wasn't trying to be rude, I figured it wouldn't be that big of a deal to wake him up, especially at 7pm. I didn't know if he was asleep for the night, which would mean I would have to just have to go to sleep sweaty, without showering.
My roommate went on and said he thought I was just waking him up to be mean, because of something I said earlier that day. To explain that I have to get into the second situation.
The 3 roommates living downstairs (which is not connected) have been smoking both cigarettes and weed downstairs, which is completely against the rental agreement. We can smell it strongly through the vents throughout the house, and previous had to block all the vents with cardboard to lessen the smell.
We have been complaining heavily about it to the landlord, and he has been calling the tenants downstairs and telling them to stop. Which resulted in the tenants downstairs finding all sorts of reasons to complain about us. The landlord is trying to resolve the problem by organizing a meeting with all the tenants, mostly to see if we (the tenants upstairs) can find a way to stay in the living situation as opposed to leaving.
The landlord wants to organize this meeting ASAP, so he sent us an email on Saturday asking us what times on Monday or Tuesday we would be available for. I responded with the times I would be available for, and made sure to send a message on the upstairs tenant's discord channel about replying to our landlord with the times we would be available.
About an hour later I was in the common area and saw my roommate was on his laptop, but still hadn't replied. So I asked him if he saw the email, and he said he did, and then I asked him what if he was free either day. He simply said he had work, so I said "yeah, but you're free evenings?", and his response was just a really long "uh.........." .
I didn't really expect it to be that difficult of a question, I haven't once known him to have anything scheduled after work, and I thought it was fairly rude of him to not take the meeting seriously. It wasn't a social invitation, our landlord needed to know people's schedules right way, especially because the tenants downstairs worked a variety of hours, so they might have to take time off work.
My response was to just tell him "well, email the landlord with the times you are free".
And apparently he thought my response was so condescending that he figured I was just looking for ways to annoy him, which he felt included waking him up to use the shower, instead of showering the next day.
How can I respond to prevent my roommate from locking me out of other shared resources?