How to get to know a service staff without interrupting her work? [duplicate]

Question

On friday night I was out with some friends of mine, we often go to a hookah lounge (which are quite common here in germany, I don't really know about other countries - basically you can smoke hookahs, have some drinks and enjoy your company with your friends).

There was this new service staff, which seems to be new since I've never seen her before. To me, she was stunning. Still can't get her out of my head. So my goal definitly is to get to know her. The question is, how do I do this, without interrupting her work?

This lounge, as the name suggests, isn't really oriented like a bar or something similar. Basically there are many couches where you can sit with your friends. There is like a counter, where you can order drinks but usually the staff just comes right up to you if the notice your empty glasses. Also, in most cases, it's not possibly to stand at the counter without annoying other customers, because there are couches in front of that counter too.

As I said, I dont want to get in the way of her serving other customers. I don't want her to get in trouble with her boss.

Any suggestions?

Edit (forgot to include that information):

Atleast I already know her name. A friend of the friends I was with there knows this girl quite well. But I've never seen him or the girl ever before, so I can't just go ask him or something :/

Answer 1

You have a simple way of meeting her outside her working hours.

A friend of the friends I was with there knows this girl quite well.

Here's the key! First of all, work to get better acquainted with this friend's friend. Then, tell him your story, tell him how bad you want to know the girl because she stole your heart etc. This way, you can know first of all if she's free and potentially interested (maybe she already has a partner, maybe she's lesbian/asexual/saving herself for her marriage/a mermaid in disguise/you name it). If the odds are in your favour, you can ask your newly acquired best friend to arrange a meeting. Gather a big group of friends and go out all together: if you two click, you'll have the chance of talk; if not, there won't be any embarrassment between the two of you. That's it!

Also, you mentioned in a comment that

With the other staff members we frequently chit-chat a lot because they already know us and we are there often.

So just keep going there. The simple fact of seeing you often and in friendly terms with the other staff members will accomplish the double goal of seeing you as a friendly and nice person (you're already accepted by the others) and of getting her familiarised to your face.

Also, if by simply going there you ended up acquainted with the rest of the staff members without giving them trouble with the boss etc, I can see no reason why the same wouldn't happen with this one girl. Try including her in a conversation that involves other staff members as well: it's unlikely that the boss scolds only the newly arrived girl for talking with customers.

I wouldn't just go there and giving her your cellphone. This is way creepier than getting to know her little by little over the course of weeks, and holds way less success probability - unless she saw you and felt the same as you (sorry, but not that likely).

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_{I'm aware of cultural differences regarding this topic, but here (Southern Europe) it's perfectly normal to engage in smalltalk or even longer conversations with the staff of a bar / pub where you go often. Nobody would dream of defining it inappropriate in itself. It's also normal for staff members to stop the conversation if they have to work, or to be able to set boundaries with impolite customers (also bluntly, if necessary) with no repercussions with their boss.}

Answer 2

How to get to know a service staff without interrupting her work?

You can't. Getting to know someone via socializing/talking, etc, at any meaningful level beyond just client-customer, is something that can only really happen in non-work time. You're in non-work time, but they are not unfortunately! Trying force the socializing/situation and the "getting to know the person" when the other person can't is at best awkward, and at worst, disrespectful and detrimental to the working person's job.

Be respectful, if she really wants to get to know you while at work, they'll take a break and come to you, and interact with you in a more of a non-client-customer level. It'll probably be pretty obvious -- the scene from Harry Potter 6 where's Harry's at this coffee place at the train station and the waitress is very clearly giving him all the signs that she wants to spend more time with him -- after getting off work. Study that bit.

I learned this one the hard way, and BTW I'm from South America but have lived in the US and Europe. The best thing you can do, is towards the end of your visit, tell her (or if she's too busy: pass her a piece of paper with a note or your just number) that let's her know you'd love to see her outside of her work hours for X. Big smile then and then leave, and hope for the best. She might reject your advances or might not, the important thing here is that you made your intentions clear in the best way possible.

If she doesn't take up your offer, c'est la vie... just suck it up and carry on like usual, don't make it awkward, just pretend it never happened and keep being a good customer. She might not be able to take you up on your offer now for whatever reason, but she might later, now that she knows, so just be cool about it either way.