I have been in this company for 5 months now and I'm sharing an office with four men (35 to 55 y.o.). They all are white, heterosexual cis men. For the record I'm a white, 22 y.o., heterosexual cis woman1.
There's been a viral video in France in the beginning of July where a bunch of people discuss non-binary and LGBTQ+ discrimination. At the beginning of the debate the facilitator address these people as gentlemen, to which one of them responds:
What makes you think I'm a man?
Since this video was released my coworkers are making fun of them and making jokes about being non-binary. I do not want to repeat them here, but they are deeply offensive and spreads threats towards LGBTQ+ people. It goes very far most of the time.
They joke about it during work time, in the office, twice a day (and for 30+ minutes) since last week. Most of the time I put my earphones in so as not to participate2 (because I am shy and I struggle to be heard in debates and every time I confront them, they laugh at me and tell me my opinion is stupid), but this week they called me to get engaged in their LGBT-phobic conversation and jokes. It seemed like they wouldn't listen to me when I insinuate it's offensive and makes me uncomfortable (because I am a hetero cis woman), and I really want them to stop spreading those awful jokes while at work (at least when I'm nearby).
What can I do to try to get my coworkers to stop their LGBT-phobic conversation during work time?
I would like to avoid confrontational suggestions if possible, since I'm gonna be around for a while and I would like to maintain a cordial atmosphere despite our differences of opinions.
They often start debates (most of the time on topics involving racism / homophobia / rape apology / ...). I'm bothered by the fact they do this during work time but mostly by their opinions themselves.
My manager doesn't know about it, but they're not managing all of us.
Yesterday I told them that my mom is non-binary1 after a very offensive and inappropriate joke. They were saying that LGBTQ+ people are freaks and that we should get rid of all of them, so I just "dropped the bomb". They laughed at me and went on. This made me really mad so I just put my earphones back on and didn't talk to them for the rest of the day, but it persisted for at least 30 other minutes.
Those are not "just jokes". They actually stand by the opinion held by their jokes. But TBH their hatred seems to be based more on ignorance and fear than real knowledge of LGBTQ+ "world", if I may.
I'm not trying to change their opinion. I surely don't agree with them, but it is not my place to try to change their mind, plus I'm not sure I could even change something. I'd just like them to stop uttering death-threatening jokes towards one specific part of the population during work time.
1: My mother does not consider herself a trans woman. She is what we call in French an ftoX, namely "female to unknown". There's no such thing in French as the neutral they (well, it's only starting with the "iel" pronoun but people fight not to use it), so we make a difference between (fe-)male (which stands for the sex) and (wo-)man (for the gender). Considering this, my mother was assigned female at birth and considers themselves neither a man nor a woman.
2: They often call debates on controversial topics. For instance when the verdict of the La Meute trial went public, they said it's normal for a woman to be abused of when talking to men in the streets.